All about Carla Holland-Strange

I got to thinking that I got into this blog a year ago to make my transistion easier and use this as a venting tool....... Well a friend who is a great author loves it but says that I need to tell you all about who I am, where I have been and what future that I see....... hmmm ok well lets get started.

My name is Carla Michele Holland Strange, I was born May 2 1961, in Brownwood Texas. first child of Sandra Kaye Petty age 16 and Scottie Wayne Holland 16... two idiot children that decided to do a defiance act towards their parents and get married and get pregnant right away..... then split up in 6 weeks.

I was always an overweight and very timid child, scared of my own shadow. In School I was part of the misfits that was made fun of and humiliated about everyday. I was very smart and loved everything about school.... but still did not fit in anywhere.

I married the first man that paid attention to me, a man that was 9 years my elder. A man that loved women, and had to prove his love of women everyday..... wit any woman that would slow down enough for him to fuck. Every single night of my married life was spent crying in frustration..... no orgasm...... no love...... no affection. And the constant knowledge that he was fucking every bar girl and neighbor in our town. For 3 years he fucked around, beat me and forced me into pregnancies that I wasn't ready for. But now in hindsight i have learned to recognise my past and then let it go....... it is a huge weight to carry around. A burden that keeps your fat around you to protect you from other men.

I don't feel like going thru all my hardships to make you understand that what does not kill you truely makes you stronger..... But here is a list to help you understand how lucky I feel today to be alive and very much at peace with myself.

raped twice.. once by my own grandfather
2 strokes
10 pregnancies 7 miscarriages
strangled and left for dead
every man in my life has fucked around on me
I stayed fat to protect myself
was butchered in Costa Rica and left to die
got pancreatitis and ended up in ICU
Ludwig Angina and back in ICU
Poisoned by a dear friend that I let live with me

And guess what? I am happier than I have ever been in my life!!! this year of being homeless and totally lost at times has been a spiritual adventure that I will always treasure and appreciate for making me a strong woman.