The Truth and Nothing But the Truth

Ok this is hard to talk about, but I have kept my life out there in the open and I can't stop now. Alot of this blog has been about Rick and his addiction and my belief that love should always win out and beat the "demons"......I give up. I can't do it anymore. Love isn't enough. My wedding band says Love Never Falls

On our wedding day we had stopped at a motel in Waco Tx for a rest, and at Midnight there was a pounding at the door saying that it was the cops...... and they wanted ME!!!!!! Said that I had a hot check and they were taking me in, I haven't even had a checking acct in 5 years! I figured this was a case of a stupid mistake and I told Rick to believe and it would all be ok...... as the police took me I gave Rick my last $900, the car, and all of my computers and possessions....... I had to prove to him that I trusted him and needed to lean on him for awhile. I mean he has leaned on me for 2 years. He had been sober for awhile and we were truely happy... so why not prove that I trusted him?

I guess he felt abandoned again...... went thru all of my money in 6 days and ended up in jail! I was released, but had nothing (which is what I have had since I met him)........ he got out of jail yesterday in Weatherford and could not even stay sober enough to ride a bus to Austin..... he has beat the beer but four lokos has wreaked our world. I am so sick of watching someone I love kill themselves.I have to think of me from here on out. My friend said that he was talking to Sue last night and she was begging him to go back to Vegas...you know the place that he lives on a rock, does not bathe, does not eat and no one would notice if he died?

Dear Creator allow me to let him go, make me strong enough not to care that he starves, not to think of him doing without common needs. I know in my heart that he will die and I am the only one that will mourn him.... but I have to walk away from him to save myself and my family. I feel so selfish but I am done, he is too damaged.

I feel that God put me in jail that night to stop me from ruining my life and I believe that God loves Rick, but he keeps choosing the wrong path. When I awakend I knew that if I did not change I had no chance, Rick won't realize this.

Four locko equals 5 redbulls and 4 shots of vodka for $2 it has killed four teens already. please go to youtube.com and google four lokos. I want to start a class action suit for the hell that they have put people thru. On the positive side God loves me and jail was not scary, I came out strong and sure of my ministry. We have our first meeting Sunday! Not all will be saved....but help all you can

Many Blessings

Unconditional LOVE

A dear friend of mine responeded something to me yesterday on Facebook, and I didn't understand...... but then she said she read this blog. Well sometimes I forget that my 4000 readers aday aren't just faceless strangers....but friends and family. so I guess I have a responsibilty to keep this thing up.

First let me say up front, I have set a path to live my life thru unconditional love. I love with no rules, no limitations. That is how I open my eyes every single day.

I know most are curious about the Rick thing..... we are together. He came back to work off the money that he stole from me. Funny thing we have loved each other for nearly 2 years.... but have just fallen in love. He is making my house a home.... his guilt over hurting the one person that stood by him almost destroyed him. Funny thing is the money don't mean a thing to me.

We have taken in 2 more homeless guys that are bringing a new joy each day to our hearts. Adopt a homeless person and save a life........ all it cost is extra food at your table, alittle extra utilities...... and a few tears. Because they did not wake up one day and say I want to be homeless.

Tommorrow they will be at the labor ready and have food in their bellies. Ricks mom won't send his birth certificate for him to get a job, but we are going to spend the 60 we can't afford and get it. We are getting married 10/10/10 so will need it anyway.... Yes I said we are getting married. Because we know that every breath we take each day is because of the other one stood by them in all the bad times in the last 2 years. The bad times that turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to either of us.

I mean think of it
lost my home
lost my business
lost my family (for a time)
got poisoned
went insane
went to jail
lived on a rock
............................
found my faith
fell in love with God
looked at my family in a new light
found the love of my life.... a love not built on money or sex (we don't have either)

Not a bad last 2 years huh? My you tube vides are going to include our life here soon. Remember God has a plan That is why you watch and read.

Many Blessings and MUCH LOVE

MY New House

oh my heck I love my new house!!!!!!! Thank you Mom!!!!!! It is like I have recieved my life back! I love you so much Mom for giving me a second chance!

I will post pictures soon...... we have done sooo much. House is a baby mansion that was destroyed by past teneants.

I have split for good with rick...... he stole $500 from me while I slept. i am so tired of taking care of a man that hates himself so much

Rick is in the Hospital

will update soon..........

Family Visits

My son Jeremy and his daughter came for a visit this weekend..... Izzy (granddaughter) is growing so fast. Rick is at church with them this morning..... as you most all know I am not religious, just spiritual.....but if going to church soothes the soul I am all for it. The neighbors even came over for dinner last night. Rick played the guitar and sang..... he has really mellowed out lately. All the hate has just seeped out of him...... he seemes to stay at peace with himself. But being with my family all the time really makes him want his more and that makes me sad. We are getting married finally on 10/10/10 at Lake Travis

Cellular memories and DNA activation

Life is GOOD

i must say that life has been pretty nice lately...... no we don't have a home yet! but soon......... my mom is trying to help us get an RV.... that may take awhile but that is ok. We are staying out in the country right now helping a friend who lost his wife a couple of weeks ago. He has 5 acres and Rick is doing the whole yard with a push mower! Heheheheheheheh what a sweaty mess.

I know your all dying to know if Rick is still falling off the wagon.... truth is.... I was right all the time. His is NOT a drinking issue it was a past issue. He had to learn to let go of the past and live in the NOW. Where we are right now there is a ton of Alcohol and not ONCE has he gotten drunk. We sit and have a couple of beers at night and go to bed. He tells everyone that Texas is the best thing that ever happened to him...... but we all know that I am the best thing that ever happened to him. hehehehehehe I knew that if I stood by him and loved him unconditionally he would eventually trust a woman. he is still alittle leary... but on the right track.

Jeremy is heading out here to work on some stuff with Rick, they seem to get along very well........ my two little bad boys.

Just a note to EVERYONE that reads my blog each and every post........ we do love you ALL and it is time for past injuries to heal. Life is short, Love is precious, and Families are FOREVER!

Many Blessings
Me and The Evil One