The Truth and Nothing But the Truth

Ok this is hard to talk about, but I have kept my life out there in the open and I can't stop now. Alot of this blog has been about Rick and his addiction and my belief that love should always win out and beat the "demons"......I give up. I can't do it anymore. Love isn't enough. My wedding band says Love Never Falls

On our wedding day we had stopped at a motel in Waco Tx for a rest, and at Midnight there was a pounding at the door saying that it was the cops...... and they wanted ME!!!!!! Said that I had a hot check and they were taking me in, I haven't even had a checking acct in 5 years! I figured this was a case of a stupid mistake and I told Rick to believe and it would all be ok...... as the police took me I gave Rick my last $900, the car, and all of my computers and possessions....... I had to prove to him that I trusted him and needed to lean on him for awhile. I mean he has leaned on me for 2 years. He had been sober for awhile and we were truely happy... so why not prove that I trusted him?

I guess he felt abandoned again...... went thru all of my money in 6 days and ended up in jail! I was released, but had nothing (which is what I have had since I met him)........ he got out of jail yesterday in Weatherford and could not even stay sober enough to ride a bus to Austin..... he has beat the beer but four lokos has wreaked our world. I am so sick of watching someone I love kill themselves.I have to think of me from here on out. My friend said that he was talking to Sue last night and she was begging him to go back to Vegas...you know the place that he lives on a rock, does not bathe, does not eat and no one would notice if he died?

Dear Creator allow me to let him go, make me strong enough not to care that he starves, not to think of him doing without common needs. I know in my heart that he will die and I am the only one that will mourn him.... but I have to walk away from him to save myself and my family. I feel so selfish but I am done, he is too damaged.

I feel that God put me in jail that night to stop me from ruining my life and I believe that God loves Rick, but he keeps choosing the wrong path. When I awakend I knew that if I did not change I had no chance, Rick won't realize this.

Four locko equals 5 redbulls and 4 shots of vodka for $2 it has killed four teens already. please go to youtube.com and google four lokos. I want to start a class action suit for the hell that they have put people thru. On the positive side God loves me and jail was not scary, I came out strong and sure of my ministry. We have our first meeting Sunday! Not all will be saved....but help all you can

Many Blessings