When does the crap stop?

I try so hard every single minute of my day, to be positive, to be energizing good, but it never ends.

This has been the worst year of my life and I keep saying that it is all to make me a better and stronger person......... I am calling bullshit.

In one one/half year I have lost EVERYTHING and seen evil that is laying under the layers of "normal" people.

All I have in this world is my dogs, everything else has been lost to me in this year. I have begged for help from my friends for little things.... nothing much at all...... I asked Sharon to visit Rick in jail ( a twenty minute task at best) because I did not have the money to drive there and let him know that he needed to let the cops know the Whole situation at that drug house...... Sharon of course and as usual refused one minute of help to me. Not remembering all the times I drove 2 hours to see if she had finally overdosed on her prescribed meds. she even texted me that I have a blackheart and that I needed to beg Jesus to save me.

You know what people hate about me most? I see them in the real light.... I see past all the surface glitz to the core beneath. That is why I stick by Rick so hard, I have seen him taking care of the homeless, I have him seen him beg (when he hates that) to help a friend of ours eat....... I have seen him share his homeless camp with others that he hated to keep shelter over their head during Nov. and Dec.
then on the other side what I see from the so called normal people.. is nasty, sick, and selfish at best.

The 2 women that he admires most spit on him in his need..... what a joke. I will be so glad when they get to stand in front of God during judgement..... but enough about Rick. I am learning to turn things over to God.... even when I am so pissed at him (and yes I get pissed at God)

I know that I can't take too much more.... it is suppose to be only as much as you can handle...... but I beg to differ.

My mom is doing great, I think she likes the nursing home..... I am going to do a movie night there today! We have been staying very active there. The doctors gave her no chance to live and now we are chasing her around the facility. All are saying that she is a miracle in the flesh.....that is what prayer will do for you.