I am Tired of carrying EVERYONES Dirty little Secrets!

Somehow my entire life people have chosen to tell me all their little secrets and that is part of my job and I understand and deal with it.....but the really bad ones that haunt me I never even got paid for. I guess people think that because I am in the sex field I am suppose to be as nasty as they are well Surprise! I'm not! Let's go thru this one by one ... ok folks. First and Most Important is a multi-millioniare out of Beverly Hills that started emailing me YEARS ago..... then finally showed up here in Austin a few weeks ago. Over and over this man has told me that everyone in LasVegas should die.... in fact he said INCLUDING every woman and child! He is a huge dog lover but only PURE breds. He said all shelter mutts should be put down. I think he started stalking me while I was breeding cockapoos........... that is about when my dogs began to die and I got that box of poison shots that killed 22 puppies in one day! In fact everytime he finds out where I live my life starts falling apart. He istied up with the Wickersham Green Property I am sure. First American Mortgage has been giving people mortgages in my name in other states..... the last one was July 2011 in California. I have not been in California in 6 years. or Vegas in 2! Ancestry.com ..... people are changing MY family tree and knocking me and my mother off it. Public Records are even changed on there............ like my mom Sandra Kaye Petty's marriage to my father Scottie Wayne Holland.............. just disappeared! Now let's talk about Falls County!!!!! Oh where can I start on that one........... Falls County Title Co. falsifying land papers and title exchanges. My divorce from Robert Strange 8 years ago............. just disappearing...... Bailey Ellis who robbed me of my land AFTER they put me thru hell...... but he did not get all the paper work and forged my signatures after I was in Las Vegas! IRS came after me the year my house burnt down............ yet he has a safe full of unreported cash and no one does a thing.... His money has been in that safe so long that it stinks of age. My donations after the fire just disappeared that was mailed to me. When the charity food truck comes to Lott you should see all of the highend vehicles grabbing that food............ while the poor people don't have cars to go get any. Now to a man named Wayne Mercer........... another rich fuck. I went to see him about helping me with getting my son out of jail. and I guess since he thought I was in porn he could tell me how he likes to fuck little girls.......... his favorite is a 10yr old! That is why he wants to live in another country so he can do kids all the time............ and I have had to keep my mouth shut so long because I could not get my family out of there. I can't be completely ok until I get this off my chest and maybe save a life. Michael Jackson was my online friend since AOL started............ he used different screen names all the time and I did not even know until a few years ago

The Path is neverending

Somedays feel like I am on one path and then a mighty shift comes.... I want to stop searching for ways to make things happen....... I figure I will put everything in Gods hands. Maybe I was dreaming and I never made a difference to anyone.

Hmmmm

Well as usual life has been an adventure, I had an awesome weekend! Went to an adult party on Sat. (still not a swinger but love the parties)Then Hippie Church on Sunday and Barton Creek for the afternoon! I love natural water and not the chlorine pools..... then Tom tookme to dinner at Baby A's. I kinda like being treated good........ I mean I love to spoil, so shouldn't I get spoiled?

Rick made no effort to get in touch with me and I am soooo tired of fighting for people that don't fight for themselves, or being a way to keep yourself fed.

I am so sick of losers and what I chose for myself as the "savior" of these idiots. Hell they don't love themselves enough to put an effort into taking care of themselves.

I keep an amazing home, cook like a chef, and know every sexual technique there is........... fuck guys learn to put effort out too!

The One

I am so damned confused, I mean I met someone this week that really bowled me over. I mean I have known him for awhile, but not really know him as a person. He is not my usual type at all. I mean on looks that is. But this guy was amazing, we talked for hours....... he wasn't anything like I thought. He was everything that I ever wanted in a man....... cept for one thing he is married to a dear friend and I know I would never step over that boundry. I had just convinced myself that all men were going to use me and never treat me like the awesome person I am... when an amazing man proved me wrong. You see I was anti him because... well nevermind. It is a mute point anyway

I talked to Rick Sat and I felt nothing at all........ he was still cold. He even said he knew I was doing drugs because I lost so much weight! I lost the weight cause I am at peace with myself, I walk miles and miles and dance like crazy. People that get sober always blame people that can drink for THEIR issues...........I am not willing anymore to feel at fault because Rick gets drunk and hurts me.

The Eyes Don't Lie

Guess I have been a producer too long.... I take a picture and have to study it and analize it .... we took 4 pictures today and yes I have lost alot of weight and I look 20 years younger, but I am sad..... my eyes are dead. How can becoming spiritual keep you so sad? Nothing has gone right since God forced himself in my world.............. I mean nothing.

Before he did this to me I had a home and a steady money supply. Did not get used by people like Rick. Blair has asked me to move in with him, Bob is coming from Beverly Hills, and Carol offered me a parnership in her kennel and I am still sad.

I worked 3 years trying so hard to help people and get this church started... but for nothing. No one wants it. God fucks your world when he leads you to your on destruction trying to help people. I want to quit..get married...... cook tons of family dinners....play with my grandkids and make love to my husband all night long every night.... and maybe nooners if he has the energy. But I have known for so long that I could only love Rick that I don't know how to make that happen..... But I am putting forth an effort. I deserve the very best the world has to offer.........All Goddesses do

Many Blessings

Let's Talk Love

Isn't it amazing to look in? I mean to watch others interact? All people want and crave love, but most never achieve "the one" Rick always told me that I wasn't the one......... yet soon as I laid eyes on his dirty homeless self I knew that he was the one.............But it really does take two. 3 years is enough to stop and rethink......... OOPS I stopped the flow of what is important right now..

I teach sex because I know that it regeneraates us and renews our bodies (with orgasm only) But I see couples flowing to swingers events, rolling with their backs together, or looking for "friends with benefits" because they are too gunshy to commit..........Look people if you love your mate talk to them........ but also remember to listen. It is give and take. I feel like such a hypocrite because I praise marriage so much and am single.

You know what is funny? My friends are jealous of my life because I have traveled, done things they wanted to do, meet people dream of..all of the adult stuff. BUTTTTTTTTTTTT people I sleep alone each and every night. Because I won't settle for anyone but "the one" Maybe I was totally wrong about why God made me stick with Rick thru everything..maybe he just needed help and I was suppose to be there.

I am about to have a date, can ya believe it? I mean he is gorgeous, sexy, and kind..........but I dont know how to date dammit.


Many Blessings
Carla

Feel Like My Hands are Tied

It occurred to me today that I have been begging for 3 years to start a church that no one wants and save children that people would rather drug than help flourish....... I mean I am nothing more than a porn bitch after all. I bet if I sold panties that I don't wear I could get enough to help others. What has become of people that no one cares? Is there no hope for the planet? Maybe 2012 will be destruction rather than rebirth. I know that I am fine. I was promised along time ago that my family and friends would be fine through all of this........ now here is the teaser.... are there any true people that deserve redeemtion?

What if I can prove to you my gifts? Would people finally listen? Well lets try it............in 2 hours lay down, you will start feeling a vibration through your body until it builds into a headache. If I am right then you need to rethink ur views on God and helping