Todays Update

Well I went to see Rick yesterday, he looked excellent and says that when he gets out he will keep not smoking so that is a biggie for me. I went there to get his friend in Oregons info so that I could beg him for help, since Ricks family does not want to help and he came up with the same old tired "tough love" saying. LOL you have to love someone to practice tough love. and how can you even get close to knowing what that person needs when you haven't bothered to know him in years.... none of these people know Rick.......... heck I don't know him. Longest I saw him sober was 3 weeks till he got shot down by that evil email from his family. I am going to post that on here as soon as he gets out of jail, so you all can see the venom that was spewed. Enough Venom to know him right back to the ground.

As far as my Ministry is going, I have been called to do some talks..... one is even in Las Veegas! I just hate leaving when Rick is so close to getting out on PR bond.... but if it benefits my ministry I may have to. My minister here said that Rick can stay with him and his family. But we will see where everything is going by then. I may bring him with me, but I hate for him to go back to Vegas and Cali untill he is completely healed and over his anger and resentment.

Anger, Hate, Guilt and Fears are your stumbling blocks on this earth. Each of these you have to address to move to the next level of balance. Sure I still get angry, but I blow it up and vent it out. I am like a dog with a bone when I know in my heart that it is a wrong done. As you can tell about Live Oak Resort, Sue and Ricks family.......
Many Blessings

Now Who I am.....Damn

Have you ever heard the Song I'm a Bitch? Well I guess that fits me better than anything I am all things to all people. I have been a stripper, escort, porn actress, porn producer, wife, mother, sinner, saint, granny to 9, and now studying to be a minister and psychologist.. While Homeless!!!! I am going to try and blog this horrid mess and let you see that even out of the horror and injustices you can shine!

I have nearly died 6 times, been abused by many men, strangeled and left for dead, raped and told I would have been better off dead, sit next to a serial killer for weeks at a club and had the salvation not to be one of his victims!

I have joined every religion thinking that maybe it would make me whole, some did for a minute. I then turned on religion because I felt that it had betrayed me or rather that My God had betrayed me thru so many trials..... now I realized that the trials were just life! No more no less! I have realized that religion wasn't important to me (or I would have held onto it) My spirituality is (and I never let that go)

I have felt like shit for so long and blamed myself for my path that I chose but I would still today choose the same path...... it is what has lead me to the knowledge that I am a true gift of God (as we all Are)

You see I am one of those people that hang out with every type of person... gays, trannies, black, white, green .... Hell I had to have a shirt made for the clubs that stated "I have No Penis!!!' I have dealt with every addiction in the world and fetish for that matter, so it is impossible to shock me or even make me not understand. Ya see on my journey I have learned to never judge or condemn, but accept and love!