My Final Blog After a Year of Transitioning to an Awakening

Seem like that sounds like a great title for my book huh? A Transitioning to My Awakening? Whew it has been a long year and a hard year... but a blessed year too! Last year I asked God to finally bring my soulmate into my life, did not know that in order for him to be there I had to lose everything to gain everything!

All year long has been a financial struggle, because God for some reason decided that I wasn't to be allowed to be a hooker anymore.... a great visionary told me that he had chose a new path for me. Well that path has lead me to many things that I am not only good but great at.... cooking, cleaning, compassion, spiritual healing and self awareness! The Friday before Thanksgiving an old long term friend put me and Rick out on the streets, and kept my possessions (id and purse) We have been sleeping in the back of a truck in temps as low as 38 degrees and we have done it and survived! Now Rick has a place to go (one of his drunk friends that hates me) but he chose to stay there and take care of me...... NO ONE EVER DID THAT FOR ME

Funny thing in all of this is that I have done things for others all of my life..... including all my friends that love to hang out or crash at my house for free all the time.. those are the people that kept my rooms full but only contributed to food for me to cook..... Now I know this is gonna piss alot of people off, but I really don't care anymore. When I talked to people on the phone and they found out that I was homeless they were sooooo ready to get off the phone. Told me alot! You will give a stranger on the street all of your change and not give a shit about your friends. I don't care if this hurts my business, since I don't want to work with users anyway.

Here is the funny part, most of you know that I am a survivor and I do not stay down..... I am a weeble I wobble but don't fall down. I ran into Sassy from the Sex with Sassy Show Yesterday and they want me to do VEgas Adult Inc on alltalkradio.net She even brought us a blanket and some clothes..... so I won't stay down.

Now if there really are any true friends out there we need help! This is Christmas time and I would never leave my friends homeless, cold and hungry in the back of a truck! I will help your careers alot with my show, allowing my true friends to guest on my show all the time.....but the friends that threw me to the curb need to throw away my number.........cause I remember everything. Even if you don't have cash to spare we need stuff.... pots, pans dishes, utensils, sheets, towels, old computer ANYTHING!

My number is 702-496-3627 A young HOMELESS boy put money on my phone, funny huh? Now you know if I can turn the Evil One into an amazing guy then I might turn my fake friends into frogs! Oh and still hate Live Oak Resort and Sue Kasser, can't wait to bash them to all my radio listeners EVERY week till hell freezes Over!

Oh and Rick and I are getting Married Jan 1 2010 @ 1:01 am during the NYE Party..... because we are survivors!

Well it has already started

Barely been here a week and my friends are needing me in like 50 different directions, well one thing I learned after being in Texas and needing emotional support and understanding and not getting it...... I will make it happen!

Alot of this drains me, but I enjoy it and realize that I am doing good.... cept wanted to strangle Sharon last night when she called at 1am hehehehehe....... our Dear Friend Robin died March 31 and I am sure that she needed someone to talk to that understood...... but I just could not wake up. Now with Debs cancer I know that I am going to have to learn to be 24/7 for my friends. Selfishness and laziness with friendships are not the way to teach true unconditional love.

We went to see Saphire play last night, they are amazing! A truely female empowered group of ladies over 50 playing Blues. hehehehehehe I wanna be them when I grow up.

I have learned on this crazy journey that we don't have to be the same to love each other........ Just Agree to Disagree and go on with it. Hell Look at me and Dionne......... I am a wild child that loves to dress and act slutty and she is an amazing child of God...... BUT we never ran out of things to talk about! She is a smart intuitive woman that is grounded and centered in family and crafts and JC (Jesus) Me..... well hell I am just me, a free spirit that thrives on life and people.

I am going to drag Wade and his GirlFriend out tonight I think and I have an investor meeting at noon today (keep your fingers crossed) my deadline is Monday and this time I will realize that if it does not happen it wasn't meant to be. I won't see it as a failure, but a non-accomplishment. That was hard for me to realize that I don't always accomplish.

I struggled so many years growing up to try and be worthy of my Earth Parents love that it took alot of the joy out of my accomplishments, so now I am going to savor the ones that I earned and gracefully let go of the ones that I didn't.

Many Blessings!!!!!!!!
I limit myself to 1 hour aday online.....so please understand that I may not get your emails till the next day.

Special Blessings to Rocky, you stay in my thoughts and heart..... sometimes you can't understand a betrayal but you forgive it... never forget it

Vegas

Gosh.......finally headed home and it is like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I ran to Texas because I was scared of being alone in Vegas when all this drama began.... now I realize I have been more alone here than I ever would have there. Don't get me wrong people "tried' to be there for me here in Texas.......BUT they didn't want to be. and if you truely love someone it comes with no strings attached. I am going back to Vegas with 5 bucks to my name, but I KNOW I will be ok..... I know that God loves us wild, crazy sinners with all his heart..... because I don't hide behind a church and religion to know that I am a good person.

I love you Dionne for being there for me, you gave and never asked for anything in return.... We agreed to disagree about everything, but you showed me that mutual respect does exsist here.

I love you Wade, because you have always been my burly grumpy shoulder to lean on... That is the reason that I am not afraid to go home!

I love you Chanel for keeping clothes on my back! Wish we wore the same size shoe!!!!

I love you Deb, for the shelter that you have offered me, even without electric i know that I will feel welcomed and loved.......We WILL get that electric back on.

I love you Robert for making sure that when I asked for help you came thru and did not hold it against me or use it on me.

I love you Jeremy, Brandon, and Amanda...... though your hands are tied by bonds that you have no control over...... I know that you love me!

I love you Vegas for being a place that freaks, misfits and immorals can fit in and find true friends that love them.

I know in my heart that I will never willingly return to Texas, I won't come back for any reasons, no illnesses, deaths, marriages, births will draw me back here. Phones are perfect ways to stay in contact