Kindness Is Weakness! I have lost everything trying to help.

Over and over again I have lost everything and it is usually around helping another person. I have lost 2 cars because the same person borrowed my car and then decided to go where they were not suppose to. I have lost possessions because I allowed people in my home that were homeless and down on their luck (Moira Pirce, Emma White, Darren Stiles, Rick Digiacomo, Delightful Deb) I am getting evicted because Moira came in and destroyed my life non-stop and the apartment building that I live in is a slum run by a slumlord (Wickersham Green Austin, Jim Conroy)
I have been sick, the computer and phone has been hacked, miscarried another baby, my heart has damage from the black mold.

My wonderful friends want to buy my possessions for almost nothing rather than help me......... ya know the type..... I mean I sold (or rather gave) my new phone to danyella 2 1/2 months ago and she has paid nothing towards it......... now she wants to buy my big screen for $100...... she is also the one that lost me not one but 2 cars. Yolanda text me yesterday that this is my Karma kicking my ass....... Karma for helping these people?

Well no more my new site BitchGoddessCarla.com is going to tell all the dirt about any and everyone that has betrayed me and I have at least 6000.
and let em sue me I been sued before.......... I am broke what ya gonna get?

There is one guy that rapes little girls and his name is Wayne Mercer from Lott, Texas! I went to him for help with Jeremy and he felt he needed to tell me how he loves to fuck his 10 year old step daughter........ cops did nothing. Yepper this is gonna be an adventure...... for everyone that was never there for me...... Mom your safe!

That virus was launched out of Las Vegas in 2009 and still no one listened.... the SAME people are here right now in Texas and the hacking virus is going again.......... but no one listens.

My Final Blog After a Year of Transitioning to an Awakening

Seem like that sounds like a great title for my book huh? A Transitioning to My Awakening? Whew it has been a long year and a hard year... but a blessed year too! Last year I asked God to finally bring my soulmate into my life, did not know that in order for him to be there I had to lose everything to gain everything!

All year long has been a financial struggle, because God for some reason decided that I wasn't to be allowed to be a hooker anymore.... a great visionary told me that he had chose a new path for me. Well that path has lead me to many things that I am not only good but great at.... cooking, cleaning, compassion, spiritual healing and self awareness! The Friday before Thanksgiving an old long term friend put me and Rick out on the streets, and kept my possessions (id and purse) We have been sleeping in the back of a truck in temps as low as 38 degrees and we have done it and survived! Now Rick has a place to go (one of his drunk friends that hates me) but he chose to stay there and take care of me...... NO ONE EVER DID THAT FOR ME

Funny thing in all of this is that I have done things for others all of my life..... including all my friends that love to hang out or crash at my house for free all the time.. those are the people that kept my rooms full but only contributed to food for me to cook..... Now I know this is gonna piss alot of people off, but I really don't care anymore. When I talked to people on the phone and they found out that I was homeless they were sooooo ready to get off the phone. Told me alot! You will give a stranger on the street all of your change and not give a shit about your friends. I don't care if this hurts my business, since I don't want to work with users anyway.

Here is the funny part, most of you know that I am a survivor and I do not stay down..... I am a weeble I wobble but don't fall down. I ran into Sassy from the Sex with Sassy Show Yesterday and they want me to do VEgas Adult Inc on alltalkradio.net She even brought us a blanket and some clothes..... so I won't stay down.

Now if there really are any true friends out there we need help! This is Christmas time and I would never leave my friends homeless, cold and hungry in the back of a truck! I will help your careers alot with my show, allowing my true friends to guest on my show all the time.....but the friends that threw me to the curb need to throw away my number.........cause I remember everything. Even if you don't have cash to spare we need stuff.... pots, pans dishes, utensils, sheets, towels, old computer ANYTHING!

My number is 702-496-3627 A young HOMELESS boy put money on my phone, funny huh? Now you know if I can turn the Evil One into an amazing guy then I might turn my fake friends into frogs! Oh and still hate Live Oak Resort and Sue Kasser, can't wait to bash them to all my radio listeners EVERY week till hell freezes Over!

Oh and Rick and I are getting Married Jan 1 2010 @ 1:01 am during the NYE Party..... because we are survivors!

I need some insights on how to become human

Ok folks I need some insights on how to be more human. You see for years I am there for anyone that ever needs me, a place to stay, a place to eat, a hug, my last dime..... and throughout the years I have lost all my possessions, thrown into jail by my friends and family, lost my pets.... but I kept on with this endless spiral of belief in these very same people. I asked a roomful of them the other night.... why i could never come first to one of them. When things are going good, they put me right out of their thoughts...... But when things are bad or confusing and they need clarity........ they run straight to Momma.

Now here is my dilema, how do I stop caring? How to do I harden my heart to not care? I mean I am totally confused. I lost my baby 2 days ago and I was still going to LA to do the Walk For Aids and could not even get a ride from one of them..... much less a sponsor! Tony has lived with me off and on since 2007 and put in $120 in all that time....... then bitched cause he had to give me a ride. I called a number of friends to be with me when I lost the baby, and only one showed up! I have been in ICU 3 times and not one time did family or friends stay at the hospital with me! I rescued over 900 dogs in 7 years and my animals went to the pound when I was drugged and thrown in jail!

What I am saying is....... no matter how it hurts.... no matter what I lose...... No matter who stabs me in the back....... I won't change. Don't ask me why I love my God so much because, he doesn't answer my prayers too often either........ but I know that he is doing this for a reason. I haven't even been able to do an appointment because I was pregnant, my parties were people just showing up and not contributing towards the cause.... Except for the wonderful bands Smiling Slut Puppies, 90 degrees, and Elliot Zabo .... Ya'll were a true blessing! I also want to thank Jeanette Johnson my ex boss for making sure that I had a roof over my head.

My prayers are for humans to learn to care again, the computers and internet have made you kind of distant and cold. Are you replacing love, and friendships with a cold computer screen?

I forgot, Drew puts me first........ he was on the streets for 2 years and homeless..... he loves me.
I love all these people and even if I never get put first for a minute, i will still love them.

Enough venting..................................Many Blessings Carla Holland-Strange

The Unknown of Healings

Well this was a wierd day and it totally knocked me out..... I have been alittle upset with Debbie and I decided not to go over to her house today for the photo shoot, but got one of my crazy signs that a I needed to use my gift with a friend with lung cancer. Now you got to understand that I don't understand this gift at all.... when I started with Patty, she seemed to get alot worse with her back. So of course it scares me when the friend has fucking lung cancer (and there is tension between us) so how is that going to work?

Well I got there and you could feel the tension down to my spine.... in fact it felt like I walked into a toxic dump site.... then add on that there were 5 god/goddess energies there. Now a God/Goddess energy sounds heavenly but it isn't (think that is why I was miserable at my Moms) It is hardcore draining power struggles. Well I had barely been there one hour and Deb started throwing up and I became physically depleted.... you see it is as painful for the healer as it is for the ill (and top it that it is an ill Goddess ... Oh My) i haven't been drinking any wine for awhile, but had to numb some of the toxcins running thru me.

Except for Patty, who asked me to rub her back (cause she felt that I could heal) No one has ever known that I was doing a heling when I hugged them goodbye and asked God to heal........ so tomorrow is a huge knowledge for me....... I know that Patty is healing (degeneration of the spine) but am I strong enough for Lung Cancer?

Well I guess only time will tell..... soon as I got home It knocked me out and I woke up to blog all of this 6 hours later.

Many Blessings
Carla Holland-Strange