Me

 

Karma

I have often wondered what I did in my past that drew so much horrible Karma in the last few years. I mean even as a child I was picking up thro aways human and animals......raised my kids (did not torture them too much)worked rather than live on the government... (yes hooking is working too) But I have also worked my entire life (hard) because I felt that working gives you worth and makes you happy.

But tonight I have been watching a show called cyberbully...... it is exactly what I have lived thru in the last few years. Someone that hides behind the internet to destroy me.... I am so confused at what power that I have that you would want to destroy me? I mean it takes alot of work to steal passwords, forward cell phone calls and just plain be mean? I mean I accidently ran over a kitten in 1982 and I hit a squirrel on Christmas Day in 1993.... were they yours?

I have done tons to hurt myself......... I have never felt worthy of love so I sabbataged every relationship that I have ever had. I have always felt unfit as a mother because I was told that Jeremy had alcohol syndrome (even tho I only had a couple of drinks BEFORE I knew I was pregnant) He was just a premmie but doc love to fuck with your head. I have wLKED FAR AWAY FROM MY FAMILY BECAUSE OF THE PATH THAT I CHOOSE FOR MY LIFE........they have always been ashamed of me. I have tried to kill myself and even failed at that...........Now I tried to start a new life and I am so good at it... but I will never be allowed to be the NEW Carla .... I do not regret who I am, who I was, I FUCKED for money! I enjoyed it! I showed pride in it........ because it is an amazing profession. If done right, it is done with love for the human race.... Alot of people will never be touched, loved, or even feel any human touch EXCEPT from a hooker! Not to mention wives that hate sex and their husbands will leave them if they don't have a sexual outlet! Some young barbie will come in and steal their hubbys as soon as people like me are gone!

I am just saying goodbye........... not that anyone has ever really give a shit about me........ I lost everything and not one of you cared. So maybe my Karma is set for me and I am so tired of fighting to keep my head up....I even feel like shit for forcing Rick into rehab........ to be honest I dont want to be here anymore.

If I fucked you over and you have been doing this crazy shit to me... let my kids know how evil I am so they will realize why I have nothing to leave them......... Ginnie, Jeremy, Brandon, Amanda........ My grandkids....Kayla, Skylar, Ryan, Christian, Zane, Trinny,Izzy, Anabelle, Jocelyn, Logan
Many Blessings
Carla Holland

Kindness Is Weakness! I have lost everything trying to help.

Over and over again I have lost everything and it is usually around helping another person. I have lost 2 cars because the same person borrowed my car and then decided to go where they were not suppose to. I have lost possessions because I allowed people in my home that were homeless and down on their luck (Moira Pirce, Emma White, Darren Stiles, Rick Digiacomo, Delightful Deb) I am getting evicted because Moira came in and destroyed my life non-stop and the apartment building that I live in is a slum run by a slumlord (Wickersham Green Austin, Jim Conroy)
I have been sick, the computer and phone has been hacked, miscarried another baby, my heart has damage from the black mold.

My wonderful friends want to buy my possessions for almost nothing rather than help me......... ya know the type..... I mean I sold (or rather gave) my new phone to danyella 2 1/2 months ago and she has paid nothing towards it......... now she wants to buy my big screen for $100...... she is also the one that lost me not one but 2 cars. Yolanda text me yesterday that this is my Karma kicking my ass....... Karma for helping these people?

Well no more my new site BitchGoddessCarla.com is going to tell all the dirt about any and everyone that has betrayed me and I have at least 6000.
and let em sue me I been sued before.......... I am broke what ya gonna get?

There is one guy that rapes little girls and his name is Wayne Mercer from Lott, Texas! I went to him for help with Jeremy and he felt he needed to tell me how he loves to fuck his 10 year old step daughter........ cops did nothing. Yepper this is gonna be an adventure...... for everyone that was never there for me...... Mom your safe!

That virus was launched out of Las Vegas in 2009 and still no one listened.... the SAME people are here right now in Texas and the hacking virus is going again.......... but no one listens.

Update

Well Rick is doing great in rehab, he will be able to go out and get a job in 28 days. YEAH!!!!! I pray he doesn't hate me for forcing the issue.... but oh well if he does.

Now as for me, my abilities are growing really strong now and even did a youtube bringing a baby bird back from near death. I do miraculous healings but no one ever pays me, isn't it funny if I escort I make great money, but if I save alife they don'even call and say thank you? I am losing the apartment Monday.... didn't make enough to pay the rent this month. I have realized one thing, if I give a healing I can take it back.... if I give an ability I can take it back..... I have been vampired too long and drained. Sitting here alone so long has done great things for me in that I study and train all the time.

Even that damned documentary I did for Allison that cost me so many hours of my precious time I got not even any footage out of. I am getting alittle hard about the human condition. I would have starved this month if it had not been for Yolanda and Danyella. But all the other girls that I have helped either stole from me, used me, tore up my home or just plain tried to destroy me.

I have developed a new healing technique using theata waves, energy work and hypnosis........ and it is awesome.

I bless those that have been good to me, Many Blessings
CArla Holland-Strange

Never Ending Drama

You know I am amazing at what I do and I love it......... not bragging just true. After failed marriages over crappy sex, all I ever did was study the amazing Orgasm and realized that it was also a huge healing vibration, so I have devoted my life to the study and the theory of Orgasm. But does anyone pay attention? No they will always see me as the ex porn producer and hooker! Big Deal! I am also educated, and I believe in what I do!

I believe in marriage, family, and committment but I see marriages fall apart all the time over crappy sex lifes. All I wanted to do was make a difference! I can get the men into my practice but not the wives..... I am about to give up!
Carla Holland-Strange
702-265-08888

10-20 years for Rick

Well here comes my problem, They are going after 10-20 years on Rick if he does not take the probation that is being offered to him.... He is scared that he won't be able to conform to the probation without screwing up.... I am going to ask that he be given that medication that makes you sick if you drink anything (court ordered) but I can't afford all of this. We will have probation fees, medications ,,,,, I don't know what to do. His Demons are alcohol...... his is an amazing person without it. I mean if he had cancer I would not leave him... Alcoholism is a disease too.

I catch so much hell because I keep taking him back... but I know the idiot will give his shirt to help someone and that is what I preach. He does not deserve 10-20 years because he won't let go of the damaged child that he struggles with.
I mean none of are perfect.... we evolve to perfection. I know he is a long way from perfect........ but I saw him do so much for others and that gives him redemption. I am all that he has and I will never betray him.

If I can just get the Foundation started we can get grants and more for the community..... Rick wants to teach the kids music and I want to teach them healing, animals, swimming, and spirituality. Marque will teach gymnastics, tennis, dance and theatre. I joined the Brave Heart Women and the empowerment of strong women will get me thru the hard times.

Now for the most important thing I have to do today.... I am NOT married to Richard John Digiacomo......... he thinks that since this is a common law state that it is sealed in stone and it isn't. I will not risk any of my grants or contributions getting into Rick's hands. Soon as I get the money to finish the non-profit the Directors will all be Empowered Women with no addictions.

Many Blessings
Carla

A letter to my son and husband

Dear Rick and Jeremy

I am writing this letter to Both of you because you both suffer from the same issues.... and until you acknowledge this you will live in jails and streets......... with no one that loves you after they get to know you. You see the reason that you lay hands on women is because you hate them. Even though the person that loves you most in your life is a woman.

Jeremy I am guilty of letting you slide so much and feeling that I must have failed you as a mother because you are failing in the real world. But truth be known your a grown man and it is your job to put your big boy pants on and be a father. But you latch onto lonely older women and use them. Is that a sick way of getting back at me for my raising of you? GrowUp and be a father to all of these kids you made and show them what a good man is. I will NOT send another dime... so make amends with God so he will see that your worthy.

Rick you can look at every female as the cause of your problems.... but fact be told........ YOU are your own DEMON. You hate being happy. Because you don't feel worthy as a man.... and to be honest your not worthy. You have an amazing gift of healing that you can give the world but cigs are so much more important to you. Your call today has gotten me to thinking, you will never care that you have hammered my face, busted my lip, strangled me with a lamp cord......... you don't love me and probably like Jeremy you never will. You never deserved a woman that has loved you for over 2 years unconditionally.... a woman that you have never put first in your life. You would not even let me tell you what was going on in my life today, you were too busy wallowing about your injustices. If I stayed with you, one day you would kill me.... that is why I demanded you get probation...... but as you said you could never pass probation standards. I do love you, but I am not a punching bag.

Everyday I work on making the world a better place, and making a difference...... but you distract me. I would rather let you both go out of my life rather than be used by 2 men that could care less about me.

Jeremy I gave you life and I love you with all my heart, but if you don't change now you will be like Rick, a man that will never be a father to his children..... and Rick if you don't change you will be that dirty homeless guy that dies in the gutter from a rotted liver and no one to bury you.

I love you both
Your Mother, and Your Wife

PS .... since you both are fathers of female children, how are going to feel when some lowlife user beats your baby girl? Not too great..... Men should stand tall and be men, Jeremy, Zane wants to talk to his Daddy is that gonna be 10-20 years? Both of you grow up please
Carla