I am Tired of carrying EVERYONES Dirty little Secrets!

Somehow my entire life people have chosen to tell me all their little secrets and that is part of my job and I understand and deal with it.....but the really bad ones that haunt me I never even got paid for. I guess people think that because I am in the sex field I am suppose to be as nasty as they are well Surprise! I'm not! Let's go thru this one by one ... ok folks. First and Most Important is a multi-millioniare out of Beverly Hills that started emailing me YEARS ago..... then finally showed up here in Austin a few weeks ago. Over and over this man has told me that everyone in LasVegas should die.... in fact he said INCLUDING every woman and child! He is a huge dog lover but only PURE breds. He said all shelter mutts should be put down. I think he started stalking me while I was breeding cockapoos........... that is about when my dogs began to die and I got that box of poison shots that killed 22 puppies in one day! In fact everytime he finds out where I live my life starts falling apart. He istied up with the Wickersham Green Property I am sure. First American Mortgage has been giving people mortgages in my name in other states..... the last one was July 2011 in California. I have not been in California in 6 years. or Vegas in 2! Ancestry.com ..... people are changing MY family tree and knocking me and my mother off it. Public Records are even changed on there............ like my mom Sandra Kaye Petty's marriage to my father Scottie Wayne Holland.............. just disappeared! Now let's talk about Falls County!!!!! Oh where can I start on that one........... Falls County Title Co. falsifying land papers and title exchanges. My divorce from Robert Strange 8 years ago............. just disappearing...... Bailey Ellis who robbed me of my land AFTER they put me thru hell...... but he did not get all the paper work and forged my signatures after I was in Las Vegas! IRS came after me the year my house burnt down............ yet he has a safe full of unreported cash and no one does a thing.... His money has been in that safe so long that it stinks of age. My donations after the fire just disappeared that was mailed to me. When the charity food truck comes to Lott you should see all of the highend vehicles grabbing that food............ while the poor people don't have cars to go get any. Now to a man named Wayne Mercer........... another rich fuck. I went to see him about helping me with getting my son out of jail. and I guess since he thought I was in porn he could tell me how he likes to fuck little girls.......... his favorite is a 10yr old! That is why he wants to live in another country so he can do kids all the time............ and I have had to keep my mouth shut so long because I could not get my family out of there. I can't be completely ok until I get this off my chest and maybe save a life. Michael Jackson was my online friend since AOL started............ he used different screen names all the time and I did not even know until a few years ago

The Path is neverending

Somedays feel like I am on one path and then a mighty shift comes.... I want to stop searching for ways to make things happen....... I figure I will put everything in Gods hands. Maybe I was dreaming and I never made a difference to anyone.

Hmmmm

Well as usual life has been an adventure, I had an awesome weekend! Went to an adult party on Sat. (still not a swinger but love the parties)Then Hippie Church on Sunday and Barton Creek for the afternoon! I love natural water and not the chlorine pools..... then Tom tookme to dinner at Baby A's. I kinda like being treated good........ I mean I love to spoil, so shouldn't I get spoiled?

Rick made no effort to get in touch with me and I am soooo tired of fighting for people that don't fight for themselves, or being a way to keep yourself fed.

I am so sick of losers and what I chose for myself as the "savior" of these idiots. Hell they don't love themselves enough to put an effort into taking care of themselves.

I keep an amazing home, cook like a chef, and know every sexual technique there is........... fuck guys learn to put effort out too!

The One

I am so damned confused, I mean I met someone this week that really bowled me over. I mean I have known him for awhile, but not really know him as a person. He is not my usual type at all. I mean on looks that is. But this guy was amazing, we talked for hours....... he wasn't anything like I thought. He was everything that I ever wanted in a man....... cept for one thing he is married to a dear friend and I know I would never step over that boundry. I had just convinced myself that all men were going to use me and never treat me like the awesome person I am... when an amazing man proved me wrong. You see I was anti him because... well nevermind. It is a mute point anyway

I talked to Rick Sat and I felt nothing at all........ he was still cold. He even said he knew I was doing drugs because I lost so much weight! I lost the weight cause I am at peace with myself, I walk miles and miles and dance like crazy. People that get sober always blame people that can drink for THEIR issues...........I am not willing anymore to feel at fault because Rick gets drunk and hurts me.

The Eyes Don't Lie

Guess I have been a producer too long.... I take a picture and have to study it and analize it .... we took 4 pictures today and yes I have lost alot of weight and I look 20 years younger, but I am sad..... my eyes are dead. How can becoming spiritual keep you so sad? Nothing has gone right since God forced himself in my world.............. I mean nothing.

Before he did this to me I had a home and a steady money supply. Did not get used by people like Rick. Blair has asked me to move in with him, Bob is coming from Beverly Hills, and Carol offered me a parnership in her kennel and I am still sad.

I worked 3 years trying so hard to help people and get this church started... but for nothing. No one wants it. God fucks your world when he leads you to your on destruction trying to help people. I want to quit..get married...... cook tons of family dinners....play with my grandkids and make love to my husband all night long every night.... and maybe nooners if he has the energy. But I have known for so long that I could only love Rick that I don't know how to make that happen..... But I am putting forth an effort. I deserve the very best the world has to offer.........All Goddesses do

Many Blessings

Let's Talk Love

Isn't it amazing to look in? I mean to watch others interact? All people want and crave love, but most never achieve "the one" Rick always told me that I wasn't the one......... yet soon as I laid eyes on his dirty homeless self I knew that he was the one.............But it really does take two. 3 years is enough to stop and rethink......... OOPS I stopped the flow of what is important right now..

I teach sex because I know that it regeneraates us and renews our bodies (with orgasm only) But I see couples flowing to swingers events, rolling with their backs together, or looking for "friends with benefits" because they are too gunshy to commit..........Look people if you love your mate talk to them........ but also remember to listen. It is give and take. I feel like such a hypocrite because I praise marriage so much and am single.

You know what is funny? My friends are jealous of my life because I have traveled, done things they wanted to do, meet people dream of..all of the adult stuff. BUTTTTTTTTTTTT people I sleep alone each and every night. Because I won't settle for anyone but "the one" Maybe I was totally wrong about why God made me stick with Rick thru everything..maybe he just needed help and I was suppose to be there.

I am about to have a date, can ya believe it? I mean he is gorgeous, sexy, and kind..........but I dont know how to date dammit.


Many Blessings
Carla

Feel Like My Hands are Tied

It occurred to me today that I have been begging for 3 years to start a church that no one wants and save children that people would rather drug than help flourish....... I mean I am nothing more than a porn bitch after all. I bet if I sold panties that I don't wear I could get enough to help others. What has become of people that no one cares? Is there no hope for the planet? Maybe 2012 will be destruction rather than rebirth. I know that I am fine. I was promised along time ago that my family and friends would be fine through all of this........ now here is the teaser.... are there any true people that deserve redeemtion?

What if I can prove to you my gifts? Would people finally listen? Well lets try it............in 2 hours lay down, you will start feeling a vibration through your body until it builds into a headache. If I am right then you need to rethink ur views on God and helping

So Many Changes

I know it has been awhile since I blogged, but with 2012 coming in so fast it has been a major time of change. I am still alone and rick is still in rehab, I think of him all the time and I pray that heis doing well.......... I am not really complete without him. But if he learns not all women are out to destroy him then maybe he will learn to love........ real love that is.

I got my Church building and it is 4000 sq ft! yeahhhhh but it needs tons of work. I know one thing that as long as I have breath no one I love will be homeless or hungry.... now if other hearts everopen up.

Healing Goddess Carla part 2

Well long time since I updated... So Excited to announce that I have began to make an elixar that is amazing!!!! It can be drank or applied to your skin and it starts to work instantly! My neck look great and so does my face. We have also started using it on Danyelles psorisis and it is clearing that up to. Tonyas rosiatia, is doing awesome. And Mom is walking after 3 years and her pain meds are down to hardy any a day. I am keepi track of it all and taking pictures to post.

I believe in healing naturally and using no chemicals what so ever. I believe that God has given us these wonder plants to get off all of the effects of drugs.

I also found a church building that I want for the Church of the Fallen Angels..... I pray that I get it before Rick gets out of rehab... if he stays busy he will not fall back to drinking.

I am in my old home town nursing a dear friend that has been very sick for along time. But I am glad that I am home because my grandparents land is here and I am paying all the back taxes so that I can have a safe haven for my family and friends. No one should go thru all that Rick and I have gone thru in the last 3 years. And I want a place that any of you have a home if you need a home.

God has been harsh thru my transition and I don't know how I can possibly still love him..... but I do. I will devote my life thru service to others and I will welcome any and everyone that needs me.

Many Faces of me

 

2000

 

me 2002

 

me in 2003

 

meeeeeeeeeeee

 

me again

 

Me

 

Karma

I have often wondered what I did in my past that drew so much horrible Karma in the last few years. I mean even as a child I was picking up thro aways human and animals......raised my kids (did not torture them too much)worked rather than live on the government... (yes hooking is working too) But I have also worked my entire life (hard) because I felt that working gives you worth and makes you happy.

But tonight I have been watching a show called cyberbully...... it is exactly what I have lived thru in the last few years. Someone that hides behind the internet to destroy me.... I am so confused at what power that I have that you would want to destroy me? I mean it takes alot of work to steal passwords, forward cell phone calls and just plain be mean? I mean I accidently ran over a kitten in 1982 and I hit a squirrel on Christmas Day in 1993.... were they yours?

I have done tons to hurt myself......... I have never felt worthy of love so I sabbataged every relationship that I have ever had. I have always felt unfit as a mother because I was told that Jeremy had alcohol syndrome (even tho I only had a couple of drinks BEFORE I knew I was pregnant) He was just a premmie but doc love to fuck with your head. I have wLKED FAR AWAY FROM MY FAMILY BECAUSE OF THE PATH THAT I CHOOSE FOR MY LIFE........they have always been ashamed of me. I have tried to kill myself and even failed at that...........Now I tried to start a new life and I am so good at it... but I will never be allowed to be the NEW Carla .... I do not regret who I am, who I was, I FUCKED for money! I enjoyed it! I showed pride in it........ because it is an amazing profession. If done right, it is done with love for the human race.... Alot of people will never be touched, loved, or even feel any human touch EXCEPT from a hooker! Not to mention wives that hate sex and their husbands will leave them if they don't have a sexual outlet! Some young barbie will come in and steal their hubbys as soon as people like me are gone!

I am just saying goodbye........... not that anyone has ever really give a shit about me........ I lost everything and not one of you cared. So maybe my Karma is set for me and I am so tired of fighting to keep my head up....I even feel like shit for forcing Rick into rehab........ to be honest I dont want to be here anymore.

If I fucked you over and you have been doing this crazy shit to me... let my kids know how evil I am so they will realize why I have nothing to leave them......... Ginnie, Jeremy, Brandon, Amanda........ My grandkids....Kayla, Skylar, Ryan, Christian, Zane, Trinny,Izzy, Anabelle, Jocelyn, Logan
Many Blessings
Carla Holland

Kindness Is Weakness! I have lost everything trying to help.

Over and over again I have lost everything and it is usually around helping another person. I have lost 2 cars because the same person borrowed my car and then decided to go where they were not suppose to. I have lost possessions because I allowed people in my home that were homeless and down on their luck (Moira Pirce, Emma White, Darren Stiles, Rick Digiacomo, Delightful Deb) I am getting evicted because Moira came in and destroyed my life non-stop and the apartment building that I live in is a slum run by a slumlord (Wickersham Green Austin, Jim Conroy)
I have been sick, the computer and phone has been hacked, miscarried another baby, my heart has damage from the black mold.

My wonderful friends want to buy my possessions for almost nothing rather than help me......... ya know the type..... I mean I sold (or rather gave) my new phone to danyella 2 1/2 months ago and she has paid nothing towards it......... now she wants to buy my big screen for $100...... she is also the one that lost me not one but 2 cars. Yolanda text me yesterday that this is my Karma kicking my ass....... Karma for helping these people?

Well no more my new site BitchGoddessCarla.com is going to tell all the dirt about any and everyone that has betrayed me and I have at least 6000.
and let em sue me I been sued before.......... I am broke what ya gonna get?

There is one guy that rapes little girls and his name is Wayne Mercer from Lott, Texas! I went to him for help with Jeremy and he felt he needed to tell me how he loves to fuck his 10 year old step daughter........ cops did nothing. Yepper this is gonna be an adventure...... for everyone that was never there for me...... Mom your safe!

That virus was launched out of Las Vegas in 2009 and still no one listened.... the SAME people are here right now in Texas and the hacking virus is going again.......... but no one listens.

Update

Well Rick is doing great in rehab, he will be able to go out and get a job in 28 days. YEAH!!!!! I pray he doesn't hate me for forcing the issue.... but oh well if he does.

Now as for me, my abilities are growing really strong now and even did a youtube bringing a baby bird back from near death. I do miraculous healings but no one ever pays me, isn't it funny if I escort I make great money, but if I save alife they don'even call and say thank you? I am losing the apartment Monday.... didn't make enough to pay the rent this month. I have realized one thing, if I give a healing I can take it back.... if I give an ability I can take it back..... I have been vampired too long and drained. Sitting here alone so long has done great things for me in that I study and train all the time.

Even that damned documentary I did for Allison that cost me so many hours of my precious time I got not even any footage out of. I am getting alittle hard about the human condition. I would have starved this month if it had not been for Yolanda and Danyella. But all the other girls that I have helped either stole from me, used me, tore up my home or just plain tried to destroy me.

I have developed a new healing technique using theata waves, energy work and hypnosis........ and it is awesome.

I bless those that have been good to me, Many Blessings
CArla Holland-Strange

Never Ending Drama

You know I am amazing at what I do and I love it......... not bragging just true. After failed marriages over crappy sex, all I ever did was study the amazing Orgasm and realized that it was also a huge healing vibration, so I have devoted my life to the study and the theory of Orgasm. But does anyone pay attention? No they will always see me as the ex porn producer and hooker! Big Deal! I am also educated, and I believe in what I do!

I believe in marriage, family, and committment but I see marriages fall apart all the time over crappy sex lifes. All I wanted to do was make a difference! I can get the men into my practice but not the wives..... I am about to give up!
Carla Holland-Strange
702-265-08888