I am glad that we are getting somewhere in that a few people are reading this and it is making a difference in their lives, what is it giving me? I guess a sense of peace that I haven't had in a long time.. a knowledge that I do have a lot to give and it is worth a fortune even if it is not my fortune! I always felt that I was gifted in that I always did things really well and things came easy to me, But I was also the very mush hearted child that was easy to get over on and be taken advantage of. As a young person I felt that I was destined for an amazing true earth shattering love that was a true gift, something that is hard to attain. Well after abusive relationship time and time again, I finally decided that God did not think that I deserved that, that my place was in business. and amazingly it was! I am GOOD at everything I do, but with that came people that used my kindness to steal what I could do, or get from me ideas and not pay for them, So no matter how good you are at something it has to pay the bills. There is the key! They need ya and want ya.... just don't feel that your ideas are worth paying for even when they make bank on them. Well I had a choice that I could take my world back and destroy the users in the process..... I chose to be here broke in TEXAS instead of Vegas and Wealthy. Did I choose the right? I think so.
BUT I Digress as far as that amazing soulmate love that I didn't believe God wanted for me, I have had it all along. We have never held hands, ate a dinner together, laughed at a movie, or spooned...... but we touch deeper than anyone possibly can understand spiritually. We can be a 1400 miles away from each other and feel when the other is sad, happy, lonely, worried. We know the others thoughts and ideas, losses and triumphs.. but we felt the real world would never understand our feelings for each other. How 2 such opposites in everything could be so exact in everything. We have always put others first in this descion and to be honest it is the others that are hurting about this. Together we would have made a POWERFUL Force to be Opposed. Kindness, Love, Power, Respect and Truth that is a scary team to go up against. AND it takes a TEAM one person can not do it by themselves.
I know that many times that you have felt like a stalker watching my post, googling me everday, I knew you were there......... I feel it My random I love yous on facebook went to you.... I also know when you started watching me.... People misconceptions about you are totally wrong and I don't feel them! Your very wrong we are stronger together and not apart.
Many Blessings
Carla Holland-Strange
Catherine
Friday, July 31, 2009
MY Charity for when I get on my feet again
will be habitat for humanity..... but not building new houses, refurbing the foreclosed ones and maybe even helping families buy their foreclosed ones back! Wouldn't that be AMAZING!!!! People have stole my ideas all my life, so now please do...........hehehehehehe these are shareware ideas! everyone should benefit from this!!!! tax breaks, lowering the homeless population.
Stop Throwing Stuff AWAY
On this journey I keep seeing people throw stuff away! STOP IT!!! Take it to Good Will, Salvation Army, or SPCA...... those are real charities plus you see where your donations GO. Have a garage sale, keep the money and donate the actual stuff to a charity.
Children
The best love that you can give a child is the love gift of your time........ Please stop with all the toys! Afew minutes of the day stop and do a chore with them, teaching starts early. Your responsible for who that child becomes, I sit here and watch my daughter in law explain things to my grandbabies and I feel comfortable wanting to go back to Vegas... See this is the FIRST time that I actually got to know my daughter in law with a genuine heart. turns out i loved her..... Before I got here I had a message that the greatest gift that a Mother can give her son is to LOVE his wife. Just another gift that I recieved along the road.
Many Blessings
Carla Holland-Strange
Many Blessings
Carla Holland-Strange
Drugs and Porn
I really need to get alot off my shoulders that mean alot to me and One is drug use. Now you see I was clean 21 years from drugs till I got to Las Vegas and Porn, BUT Guess what Vegas nor Porn started it back for me! That would be a total Excuse! 80% of Adult Actors do not even use a drug alot dont drink or smoke either! They go and get blood done every month for sexually transmitted diseases, they give to charities and basically kind people.
I got on meth because I did not like what I saw in the mirror, and yes it did make me lose some weight. BUT soon as I saw my life was turning to shit I got off of it, but then NONE of my friends believed it cause I didn't do the rehab thing and have to detox......BIG Deal! I put my faith in god and was blessed enough to quit overnight! For the second time in my life! And that was with the Vampires that robbed me doing them everyday in my face. Plus I continued to go from a size 14 to an 8 without drugs and excuses!
And the one that got me started back on drugs by the way was a computer repair guy not a porn star! I know your gonna say none of them were there for me when things got rough and why do I still love them and love the industry..... Because they are TRYING to make changes! Remember the old day. These are wonderful regular people that chose a different path...... not a path of Sin just a job choice. You see people look at things wrong. When God Said not to commit Adultry it was about the heart (true love) or spirit and body are 2 seperate things..... our spirit loves and our body has sex. Sex is a much needed function for our bodies pressure vavles, without sexual release we do build up and explode.
So moral to the story is People if sex is not that great with you as a couple, get some help!!! Therapy, Sexual Surrogate, Even a hooker that you know and trust.
I got on meth because I did not like what I saw in the mirror, and yes it did make me lose some weight. BUT soon as I saw my life was turning to shit I got off of it, but then NONE of my friends believed it cause I didn't do the rehab thing and have to detox......BIG Deal! I put my faith in god and was blessed enough to quit overnight! For the second time in my life! And that was with the Vampires that robbed me doing them everyday in my face. Plus I continued to go from a size 14 to an 8 without drugs and excuses!
And the one that got me started back on drugs by the way was a computer repair guy not a porn star! I know your gonna say none of them were there for me when things got rough and why do I still love them and love the industry..... Because they are TRYING to make changes! Remember the old day. These are wonderful regular people that chose a different path...... not a path of Sin just a job choice. You see people look at things wrong. When God Said not to commit Adultry it was about the heart (true love) or spirit and body are 2 seperate things..... our spirit loves and our body has sex. Sex is a much needed function for our bodies pressure vavles, without sexual release we do build up and explode.
So moral to the story is People if sex is not that great with you as a couple, get some help!!! Therapy, Sexual Surrogate, Even a hooker that you know and trust.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
OOPs in Trouble Again
LOL.......Gosh now my family is mad that I brought the dirty family secrets out in the open..... Oh well I didn't mention names, but no indignation for putting me in jail for NOTHING. So now I am sure that the drama will really hit the fan........... Whoever said you can't go home is totally right! You grow (if your lucky) and you change.
I am sorry if home truths really hit people hard that keep their heads buried in the sand.. but truth is painful!
Until you treat people with kindness, practice REAL charity, live by the Golden Rule... you will be a failure! A true success does not have to have that fancy mansion or even the bills paid on time! A true success is someone that can look in the mirror and be proud of who they are!
Many Blessings
Carla Holland-Strange
I am sorry if home truths really hit people hard that keep their heads buried in the sand.. but truth is painful!
Until you treat people with kindness, practice REAL charity, live by the Golden Rule... you will be a failure! A true success does not have to have that fancy mansion or even the bills paid on time! A true success is someone that can look in the mirror and be proud of who they are!
Many Blessings
Carla Holland-Strange
Controling With FEAR
Well as we all know I was arrested last week for taking up for myself against my raging sister (way bigger than Me) that was coming off of her Vicodin. The cop tried to say that I gave her a black eye..... how many of you have ever had a blackeye? It does not start off as black, it starts off red and swollen and is not gone the next day!!!!! My son asked to see it the next day and was told that it was already gone... I call BullShit! They had to drop the charges due to the report being bad... read past blog about it!
Now this officer is telling my Mom EVERYDAY that they know where I am and that they are going to go thru with the charges........ See I know too much about the county practices and if you control me with fear I will behave and keep my mouth shut..........WRONG! I had in fact just forgot it till my Mom calls scared that I will go to jail for 2 years because of Bullshit.. now I get mad! Ya'll Google Lott Texas Speed Traps, See how many crooked investigations are going on all the time about Lott! Ask where the pound dogs are now after they got caught starving them one holiday weekend and massive dogs died! Then they called me an Animal Abuser? I think not!!!
This is the same officer that wanted to rewrite another officers report to charge me..... now how do you write a report when you werent there? If I don't blog regularly start calling Falls County Texas Sheriffs office and see if I am there.
BUT Don't get me wrong..... i have the habit of rubbing people the wrong way (ya either love me or hate me) So let's not forget the conflicker thingy! Either Way notice if I blog or not.. ask questions.... don't accept all the answers. Listen with your hearts..... and realize there is alot more at work than you will ever know.
I am an active Member of the ACLU, I have rights, People died for my rights!
Also remember that the Media controls all of us with fear..... these horror stories in the news everyday are there to make sure that we don't ask questions and they we stay good little Americans that have no Voice. For One Day turn off the TV, and go to the Park, to a Real Charity that values your time and Not just your money, Go to the Library and even if you don't read enjoy all they have to give. Go to a yoga class or just meditate, call your best friend. so many positive things!
Many Blessings
Carla Holland-Strange
Now this officer is telling my Mom EVERYDAY that they know where I am and that they are going to go thru with the charges........ See I know too much about the county practices and if you control me with fear I will behave and keep my mouth shut..........WRONG! I had in fact just forgot it till my Mom calls scared that I will go to jail for 2 years because of Bullshit.. now I get mad! Ya'll Google Lott Texas Speed Traps, See how many crooked investigations are going on all the time about Lott! Ask where the pound dogs are now after they got caught starving them one holiday weekend and massive dogs died! Then they called me an Animal Abuser? I think not!!!
This is the same officer that wanted to rewrite another officers report to charge me..... now how do you write a report when you werent there? If I don't blog regularly start calling Falls County Texas Sheriffs office and see if I am there.
BUT Don't get me wrong..... i have the habit of rubbing people the wrong way (ya either love me or hate me) So let's not forget the conflicker thingy! Either Way notice if I blog or not.. ask questions.... don't accept all the answers. Listen with your hearts..... and realize there is alot more at work than you will ever know.
I am an active Member of the ACLU, I have rights, People died for my rights!
Also remember that the Media controls all of us with fear..... these horror stories in the news everyday are there to make sure that we don't ask questions and they we stay good little Americans that have no Voice. For One Day turn off the TV, and go to the Park, to a Real Charity that values your time and Not just your money, Go to the Library and even if you don't read enjoy all they have to give. Go to a yoga class or just meditate, call your best friend. so many positive things!
Many Blessings
Carla Holland-Strange
Shaking My head in DisBelief
How can anyone ask for acceptence when they are non-accepting? I was on meet-up today and was asked to join a meet-up group in Las Vegas, I am always ready to support a good cause.... But they REJECTED Me!!!!! LOL
It was a gay theatres group........ why invite me if your so closed minded!
I openly embrace every sexuality and lifestyle, encouraged people to be proud of who they are and I get rejected.....LMAO Here is what I responded:
Awww that is ok...... You should have read my profile. I am a STRAIGHT Activist for Gays...... I had gotten an Invite to join your group because it was about the Adult Industry, which I am the Owner of Vegas Adult Talent and Production.. but seems that BOTH sides draw that line and who will ever accept you if you don't accept them.......... Many Blessings Carla Holland-Strange
It was a gay theatres group........ why invite me if your so closed minded!
I openly embrace every sexuality and lifestyle, encouraged people to be proud of who they are and I get rejected.....LMAO Here is what I responded:
Awww that is ok...... You should have read my profile. I am a STRAIGHT Activist for Gays...... I had gotten an Invite to join your group because it was about the Adult Industry, which I am the Owner of Vegas Adult Talent and Production.. but seems that BOTH sides draw that line and who will ever accept you if you don't accept them.......... Many Blessings Carla Holland-Strange
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Realizations
I know what was done to me and alot of my friends on the internet, I know what I was set up for and alot of the people that did it to me. Something that could spiral back at the whole Adult Video Industry. Remember that No Matter whatever happens there is good and bad in the Adult Industry! Not everyone is a pedifile, and a whore monger there are lots of good companies out there. That is why they wanted me far from my 2257's besides Identity thieft, they could funnel illegal crap thru my computer..... Why would anyone want to crush the Industry like that?
Some people are actually golden. look in their eyes and you will see their spirit there
Some people are actually golden. look in their eyes and you will see their spirit there
Macular Degenertion Ideas
I just saw the Doctors and want to offer a suggestion on Macular Degeneration and finding your children....... Get white Shirts and On the Backs Put their Letter in Dark Stencils! Also use white in as many ways as you can...... i have started these pyrapoos because they are calm and because they are WHITE! Also standard Poodles that are white will be great!
Please Feel Free to Google Me
I ask everyone to please Google me and See who I am as a Person, there will be good things, bad things, truths and lies. It will show my botched surgery in Costa Rica, My Home Burning Down not once but Twice, Being called an Animal Abuser because some vaccines were tainted and It killed 22 pups, What it doesn't show is me on the kill floors of Local shelters for years taking the Unadoptable dogs that no one wanted or gave a shit about and finding them homes! I only got minimal donations of food and only asked $25 a dog adoption fee, so it put a huge strain on my marriage.... in fact I lived in a tent and a picnic table for months to be near my animals and try to guard them from harm.
My name is Carla Holland Strange and I am a Sinner and a Saint, I have done many things and worn many hats in my journey of who I am as a person!
Please don't hammer breeders! Not everyone should be made to feel guilty because they buy a dog from a breeder instead of adopt from a shelter..... we are all different and that is OK! But make sure that you bring animals into your lives and realize they make you human!
My favorite is my cockapoos.... but I am wanting to raise seeing eye dogs and I have chosen Labradoodles and Pyrapoos for that! Then a dear friend Lorretta Levy has shown that cockapoos are amazing therapy dogs (because of their calmness) I think that all animals have a wonderful place and we need to talk to the person to make sure what they actually need in a pet.
I am going to use this to purge my life out there to you and I hope that you can take something with you from my blogs!
So Please Google
Carla Holland-Strange
Sexy BBW Carla
Vegas Adult Talent
Poos-R-Us
Whenever you find bad things please ask me and I promise to be totally honest with you about any of it.... oh and that thing about my father raising me on a distant island is a Marvel Comic by the way.....hehehehehehe see anything comes out in a google search
My name is Carla Holland Strange and I am a Sinner and a Saint, I have done many things and worn many hats in my journey of who I am as a person!
Please don't hammer breeders! Not everyone should be made to feel guilty because they buy a dog from a breeder instead of adopt from a shelter..... we are all different and that is OK! But make sure that you bring animals into your lives and realize they make you human!
My favorite is my cockapoos.... but I am wanting to raise seeing eye dogs and I have chosen Labradoodles and Pyrapoos for that! Then a dear friend Lorretta Levy has shown that cockapoos are amazing therapy dogs (because of their calmness) I think that all animals have a wonderful place and we need to talk to the person to make sure what they actually need in a pet.
I am going to use this to purge my life out there to you and I hope that you can take something with you from my blogs!
So Please Google
Carla Holland-Strange
Sexy BBW Carla
Vegas Adult Talent
Poos-R-Us
Whenever you find bad things please ask me and I promise to be totally honest with you about any of it.... oh and that thing about my father raising me on a distant island is a Marvel Comic by the way.....hehehehehehe see anything comes out in a google search
Church Of The Fallen Angels
My name is Carla Holland-Strange, I WAS the Owner of Vegas Adult Talent and Production and I am starting a Ministry for ALL People.... races, sexualities, faiths, beliefs. I am an Ex Las Vegas Hooker and don't regret a minute of who I am! I don't care if your in Porn, Addictions, Escorts, Gamblers, Swingers, Nudist, Christian, Jews, Buddist All you have to be is accepting and kind! I don't have a meeting place yet but I hope to talk the Casinos into letting us meet daily in one of the bars (Vegas is a 24/7 Town)
And Please realize that I am new to all of this, I am not a good preacher I am a good spirit. I don't judge anyone in fact you can sit there with a drink in hand if you want and Smoke! I am also putting together a Wellness Retreat once we get money coming in for Addictions, Weight and FUN........ Our God of Choice wants us to enjoy our life. Blessings to All that Wish to Accept!
We need Donations of EVERY Thing
Everything is a great Tax Write off too
We need Estates for Meetings, Shelters, Classes, Spirit Parties and Concerts (donate a day or the whole property!) These places are sucking you dry right now and you know it!
We need a Facility for a Wellness Clinic and Retreat (alot of Celebs will be joining us)
I need donations of Peoples Skills (tax deductable too )
Furnishings
Clothing
Toys
Bus Passes (hell I need one)
Apartment rentals,
Life Coaches
Scholarships
I need Dog Trainers....We are going to train seeing eye dogs, therapy dogs and service dogs
I need child care workers for parents that want to go back to school
I need Attorneys to Donate their time
Need Sexual Surrogacy Teachers for the Sex Workers that Don't want to quit (get them legal)
I need Ministers of all Faiths
I need Aids Awarenss Teachers and Nurses (testing would be a nice donation)
Need book donations
Promoters and VIP Host I need you too
I lost everything I own in Vegas and no I am not a gambler (I trusted the wrong people in my life) BUT I realized that I LOVE Vegas! I love that people are imperfect and that it is a fun city, I think that if people knew that there is a place in Sin City were they can be Sinners and still Loved that it will also boost the tourist trade.
I refuse to let my dreams go and I realized that this was the accumulation of my dreams and Plans! So you high Rollers and You know who you are...Chip in!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't have my non-profit yet, so I don't know how to make this all happen.........someone HELP!!!!!!!!
Carla Holland-Strange
702-291-8565
And Please realize that I am new to all of this, I am not a good preacher I am a good spirit. I don't judge anyone in fact you can sit there with a drink in hand if you want and Smoke! I am also putting together a Wellness Retreat once we get money coming in for Addictions, Weight and FUN........ Our God of Choice wants us to enjoy our life. Blessings to All that Wish to Accept!
We need Donations of EVERY Thing
Everything is a great Tax Write off too
We need Estates for Meetings, Shelters, Classes, Spirit Parties and Concerts (donate a day or the whole property!) These places are sucking you dry right now and you know it!
We need a Facility for a Wellness Clinic and Retreat (alot of Celebs will be joining us)
I need donations of Peoples Skills (tax deductable too )
Furnishings
Clothing
Toys
Bus Passes (hell I need one)
Apartment rentals,
Life Coaches
Scholarships
I need Dog Trainers....We are going to train seeing eye dogs, therapy dogs and service dogs
I need child care workers for parents that want to go back to school
I need Attorneys to Donate their time
Need Sexual Surrogacy Teachers for the Sex Workers that Don't want to quit (get them legal)
I need Ministers of all Faiths
I need Aids Awarenss Teachers and Nurses (testing would be a nice donation)
Need book donations
Promoters and VIP Host I need you too
I lost everything I own in Vegas and no I am not a gambler (I trusted the wrong people in my life) BUT I realized that I LOVE Vegas! I love that people are imperfect and that it is a fun city, I think that if people knew that there is a place in Sin City were they can be Sinners and still Loved that it will also boost the tourist trade.
I refuse to let my dreams go and I realized that this was the accumulation of my dreams and Plans! So you high Rollers and You know who you are...Chip in!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't have my non-profit yet, so I don't know how to make this all happen.........someone HELP!!!!!!!!
Carla Holland-Strange
702-291-8565
Female Empowerment
I saw a show on TV last night about black empowerment and saw that people were supporting black businesses for a year to show their support.... and no I know that isn't a racist thing. I wish that strong women could do the same thing and support each other rater than become jealous of each other. i know so many wonderful strong women, but when things got hard they get to thinking that you want something of theirs...... how can you control your world if you don't see your own worth?
I try really hard to help where I can, but it is hard when someone always thinks you have angles. My dearest friend in Las Vegas cut me out of her life because her BF was always kind to me. I craved her approval and love as an equal and she threw me away because she thought I wanted him. Don't get me wrong I adore him, one of the greatest men I have ever met in my LIFE.... but my friends man not mine.
I try really hard to help where I can, but it is hard when someone always thinks you have angles. My dearest friend in Las Vegas cut me out of her life because her BF was always kind to me. I craved her approval and love as an equal and she threw me away because she thought I wanted him. Don't get me wrong I adore him, one of the greatest men I have ever met in my LIFE.... but my friends man not mine.
Well this is my Other Screen Name
Seems that someone locked me out of my own AOL Acct. Why do people think that if they can pretend to be you that they will be you? Never gonna happen.... I am and will ALWAYS Be Vegas Adult Talent...... no matter how many times that you steal my passwords. Just cause ya want it don't make it so. I gathered talent because they knew they could trust me. That I would never exploit them and that I would always put them first. I sent out many girls to Hardcore Modeling knowing that Ditto would never give me a cent, cause I knew the girl actually needed to money more than I needed the kudos.
Carla Holland Strange
Many Blessings to the World
Carla Holland Strange
Many Blessings to the World
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Tired and My Head Hurts
Guess I am going to try to go to bed again, the blow up mattress in my grandsons room isn't very comfortable. So many things race thru my head (and no I am not manic) I have been watching the signs and alot of times I know what is going to happen before it does and I know that it is time for me to be back Home in Vegas. Things are brewing (watch the news) there is an under current of pure evil and I believe that us poor imperfect sinners will bear the brunt of it all. Who better to blame then the Lusty Porn/Escort Sinners.... That is why I know that I really need to be in a safer place for a naughty girl.
Why I hate my Life here in Texas
Porn/escort + Bible Belt = Misery I can't even go to church..... I want and need church and crazy freaks like me to attend it with
How I lost over 100 pounds in 8 months
Bud light lime! and alot of hammering out my insecurities, fears and guilts. I also walk, eat really well (I cook like crazy) I was dancing alot when in Vegas but that has all come to a stop here.
Shooting
I think I am going to start shooting again...when I get back on my feet. I have alot of friends that want to do the videos, I want to go from a totally loving slant tho. Real couples, Wish Daejha was around she holds a great camera, so does Karen.
My Children
I love my children and it makes me shiver knowing how good they are and how much they mean to me. ( grandkiddos and I am still a hottie! heheheheheheh
Emotional and Moral Twist
I have been in such an emotional and moral twist for so long in my life, It is crazy but I love being a slut/porn person and I know that I love MY God and I always think about and put others first in my life. You see I loved casting and I am excellent at it, but casting young people made me feel dirty! I love doing the MILFS because I felt that as women we were coming into our own skin in our sexuality, going to swingers resorts and seeing alot of loving couples they were mainly baby boomer age and they were mature enough to understand that sex and Love are not always One and the same.
As far as the escorting, I know it sounds like I am justifying, But I am NOT..... I know for a fact that I have saved alot of marriages! I want to do more on that end though! I want to teach women to make love to a mans cock and to take her own power in bed to achieve orgasms that she deserves! Nothing starts off perfect so how do you think that sex would?
Why in the Fuck do I have to give up what I love and what I am good at to achieve a moral calm? It does not define me as a person (not that little bit) I am more like an onion... many layers! I will never be just a surface person.
I have sooooo many things that I want to do, learn and teach. Since I was young everytime I had an idea a million people would try to steal it and they have, but they never keep it going because they are not me. I do things with a passion, because I love them. It would have been easy for me to get on social security when I got the Lupus Death Sentence, but I didn't. If I don't enjoy the passions that my work brings I am totally lost. You see I love what I do and who I am. I just know that I want to burst sitting here in Texas, knowing I have a bigger cause there in Vegas. I felt that I belonged and that I was loved....... I know it sounds funny since none of my friends helped me! BUT I know that I matter in their lives, I know that I want my talent to be safe, fed and roofs over their heads.
I know that I had been clean for over 20 years when I went to Vegas and it was easy to start doing drugs again (I have no idea how I quit things so easily) Except that I have a complete and utter understanding of who I am and what drives me to do the things I do. So Addiction Fears have vanquished, Now I have failure fears and never had that before in my life, I pray that it will go away soon and I can be productive again. I have alot to give and I will never understand how anyone could have done the things to me that were done. I lost all of my pets, my clothes, my belongings..... got to say it was beautifully planned. It made the movie GasLight look like a comedy........... But why? I wasn't rich I wasn't flashy. You can steal my business, home and name but it will never be yours...... because I built it with love and you stole it with hate.
Many Blessings
As far as the escorting, I know it sounds like I am justifying, But I am NOT..... I know for a fact that I have saved alot of marriages! I want to do more on that end though! I want to teach women to make love to a mans cock and to take her own power in bed to achieve orgasms that she deserves! Nothing starts off perfect so how do you think that sex would?
Why in the Fuck do I have to give up what I love and what I am good at to achieve a moral calm? It does not define me as a person (not that little bit) I am more like an onion... many layers! I will never be just a surface person.
I have sooooo many things that I want to do, learn and teach. Since I was young everytime I had an idea a million people would try to steal it and they have, but they never keep it going because they are not me. I do things with a passion, because I love them. It would have been easy for me to get on social security when I got the Lupus Death Sentence, but I didn't. If I don't enjoy the passions that my work brings I am totally lost. You see I love what I do and who I am. I just know that I want to burst sitting here in Texas, knowing I have a bigger cause there in Vegas. I felt that I belonged and that I was loved....... I know it sounds funny since none of my friends helped me! BUT I know that I matter in their lives, I know that I want my talent to be safe, fed and roofs over their heads.
I know that I had been clean for over 20 years when I went to Vegas and it was easy to start doing drugs again (I have no idea how I quit things so easily) Except that I have a complete and utter understanding of who I am and what drives me to do the things I do. So Addiction Fears have vanquished, Now I have failure fears and never had that before in my life, I pray that it will go away soon and I can be productive again. I have alot to give and I will never understand how anyone could have done the things to me that were done. I lost all of my pets, my clothes, my belongings..... got to say it was beautifully planned. It made the movie GasLight look like a comedy........... But why? I wasn't rich I wasn't flashy. You can steal my business, home and name but it will never be yours...... because I built it with love and you stole it with hate.
Many Blessings
Loan Ads
I notice that my google sponsor is a Loan Company, I sure hate that...... That is what started my to demise to my wonderful life plans. I worked 16-18 hours aday on business plans trying to get my sensual retreats going and applying for loans and being jacked around constantly. I want ads on my page that I believe in! Bud Lime! 99 cent stores! habit tat for humanity! suave! Franzia! Ross Dress For Less! Hitachi Wand (saves alot of marriages) Adam and Eve! Evil Angel, Elusive Angel, Vegas Adult Talent (hehehehehehe oops that is Me) Reba, Cher, Las Vegas things that I actually give a shit about.
Many Blessings
Carla Holland-Strange
Many Blessings
Carla Holland-Strange
Laptop
Whenever I get My own laptop again, I will post a ton of pix and also show some live demonstrations on cam!
Wow! Did I say that?
In the next few days I am going to talk about stuff that you don't usually hear from the average middle age (elderly) woman talk freely and happily about..... Sex, Blow Jobs, Masturbation, Cooking, Weight Loss, Kindness (Random Acts), Non-Profits, Rip Offs,cams, The News
Lonliness
People bitch so much about being lonely then they join a site to meet people in the real world and never keep the dates
Weight Loss Secrets
I have lost over 100 pounds in the last few months, I eat regularly, not enough excercise since I have been in Texas, but I have kept it off. I found the amazing cure for being fat, maybe someday I will market it
I call BullShit
How can people do what they are doing these days and use excuses like God made me do it or the Devil made me do it that is all BS! I have had 3 of my grandkids today, not got any sleep last night plus throwing up and I have no thinking process that would ever make me do something like that girl in San Antonio........ How can people do that crap?
And believe me Logan is a handful (he is my youngest GB)
Also people need to realize that prescription drugs are causing alot more destruction to lives than illegal ones.
And believe me Logan is a handful (he is my youngest GB)
Also people need to realize that prescription drugs are causing alot more destruction to lives than illegal ones.
Hiding in Plain Site and Why I am in Hell
On March 3rd I saw the Conflicker Virus Launch and within 20 minutes it was all over the news that the Korean Missile had misfired! I called Homeland security, FBI all news agencies that I could think of and NO ONE ever checked all this out! How can government not checkout something like that in todays times? I was then made to appear crazy even though I had quit drugs a month prior, and was VERY sound! I think that it was launched from Vegas to make it look Mafia related and money laundering....... but believe me. I don't think so
I have been really angry with Vegas because I was arrested during all of this and lost everything I own. but I believe they actually kept me safe. I know that I was triggered to believe alot of shit that wasn't true to make me appear insane. I have studied alot since I got back to Texas.
Always feeling in Danger, never feeling safe. So I checked myself into a hospital and had it verified that I am as sane as can be. I did leave all the evidence with a charity that will have to turn it in to get the reward. Since Microsoft offered a $250,000 reward but would not even call me back.
See you can Abuse me, but never hurt people or things I love. I am sick to death of living in fear and hiding because no one listened to me. They felt a computer virus was not that Important... Well it is when you can use them to manipulate banks, lotteries, launch missiles, clog emails with spam, 2 cents out of everyones bank accounts daily adds up to billions. HI BOB!!!!!!!
I have been really angry with Vegas because I was arrested during all of this and lost everything I own. but I believe they actually kept me safe. I know that I was triggered to believe alot of shit that wasn't true to make me appear insane. I have studied alot since I got back to Texas.
Always feeling in Danger, never feeling safe. So I checked myself into a hospital and had it verified that I am as sane as can be. I did leave all the evidence with a charity that will have to turn it in to get the reward. Since Microsoft offered a $250,000 reward but would not even call me back.
See you can Abuse me, but never hurt people or things I love. I am sick to death of living in fear and hiding because no one listened to me. They felt a computer virus was not that Important... Well it is when you can use them to manipulate banks, lotteries, launch missiles, clog emails with spam, 2 cents out of everyones bank accounts daily adds up to billions. HI BOB!!!!!!!
Now do you want to talk about Sex? and why so many men have to turn to hookers, escorts, massage parlors, mistresses? All of which are not a bad thing by the way, BUT there is a reason. Most guys truely love their wives and want it to work but they are so sexually frustrated that they turn into a different direction rather than have confrontation at home. You see it is easy to take the risk of "maybe" getting caught versus actually confronting someone you love saying that you need more in the bedroom. See us women go a different direction, we can hold out better than guys and alot of us don't even realize that we are doing it out of non-fullfilment.
The Average woman needs extras for an orgasm, but guys take it personally and it isn't PERSONAL it is our bodies!
Each male client that I would see, I would make sure that I had a REAL orgasm too! and believe me none of them took offence that their favorite elderly hooker got her orgasm too. It is just different when it comes to their wives. They don't see that if THEY don't get it right the wife wont go to a service they will get a lover! So guys pick up some flowers, wine, and toys
The Average woman needs extras for an orgasm, but guys take it personally and it isn't PERSONAL it is our bodies!
Each male client that I would see, I would make sure that I had a REAL orgasm too! and believe me none of them took offence that their favorite elderly hooker got her orgasm too. It is just different when it comes to their wives. They don't see that if THEY don't get it right the wife wont go to a service they will get a lover! So guys pick up some flowers, wine, and toys
Product Injustices
I hate companies that screw you over all the time, all the cell phone companies, (mine was verizon) they allow so many over charges that you can't keep your service
products that promise this curl and straighten that and the prettier the bottle the higher the cost! I love the 99 cent store myself! my favorite shampoo is suave professional
Hey people we are broke!!!!!! why does everyone not realize this?
products that promise this curl and straighten that and the prettier the bottle the higher the cost! I love the 99 cent store myself! my favorite shampoo is suave professional
Hey people we are broke!!!!!! why does everyone not realize this?
What I want to be when I grow up
Ta Da!!!!! Who knows this? I want to be a teacher, minister, sensualist, lover, charity, happy, kind, indignent of injustices, learn to spell better.... hehehehehehehehehe
I want my old life back too.! I miss Vegas! I left there for the wrong reasons..... But I Love Vegas and Life happens. To me Vegas is like my child that I want so much more for. It has made me happier than anyplace ever!!!!!! and I dont even gamble!
See I ran back to Texas because I was afraid of something that I saw and felt that I would be safer near family.... nope just homeless! I used to put sex in all my facebook updates because I felt it googled better, so now I mentioned sex! hehehehehehehehe
Damn my head hurts, everytime I fight with my mom my bp rises..... why do we fight mainly with the people we love?
I want my old life back too.! I miss Vegas! I left there for the wrong reasons..... But I Love Vegas and Life happens. To me Vegas is like my child that I want so much more for. It has made me happier than anyplace ever!!!!!! and I dont even gamble!
See I ran back to Texas because I was afraid of something that I saw and felt that I would be safer near family.... nope just homeless! I used to put sex in all my facebook updates because I felt it googled better, so now I mentioned sex! hehehehehehehehe
Damn my head hurts, everytime I fight with my mom my bp rises..... why do we fight mainly with the people we love?
Now Who I am.....Damn
Have you ever heard the Song I'm a Bitch? Well I guess that fits me better than anything I am all things to all people. I have been a stripper, escort, porn actress, porn producer, wife, mother, sinner, saint, granny to 9, and now studying to be a minister and psychologist.. While Homeless!!!! I am going to try and blog this horrid mess and let you see that even out of the horror and injustices you can shine!
I have nearly died 6 times, been abused by many men, strangeled and left for dead, raped and told I would have been better off dead, sit next to a serial killer for weeks at a club and had the salvation not to be one of his victims!
I have joined every religion thinking that maybe it would make me whole, some did for a minute. I then turned on religion because I felt that it had betrayed me or rather that My God had betrayed me thru so many trials..... now I realized that the trials were just life! No more no less! I have realized that religion wasn't important to me (or I would have held onto it) My spirituality is (and I never let that go)
I have felt like shit for so long and blamed myself for my path that I chose but I would still today choose the same path...... it is what has lead me to the knowledge that I am a true gift of God (as we all Are)
You see I am one of those people that hang out with every type of person... gays, trannies, black, white, green .... Hell I had to have a shirt made for the clubs that stated "I have No Penis!!!' I have dealt with every addiction in the world and fetish for that matter, so it is impossible to shock me or even make me not understand. Ya see on my journey I have learned to never judge or condemn, but accept and love!
I have nearly died 6 times, been abused by many men, strangeled and left for dead, raped and told I would have been better off dead, sit next to a serial killer for weeks at a club and had the salvation not to be one of his victims!
I have joined every religion thinking that maybe it would make me whole, some did for a minute. I then turned on religion because I felt that it had betrayed me or rather that My God had betrayed me thru so many trials..... now I realized that the trials were just life! No more no less! I have realized that religion wasn't important to me (or I would have held onto it) My spirituality is (and I never let that go)
I have felt like shit for so long and blamed myself for my path that I chose but I would still today choose the same path...... it is what has lead me to the knowledge that I am a true gift of God (as we all Are)
You see I am one of those people that hang out with every type of person... gays, trannies, black, white, green .... Hell I had to have a shirt made for the clubs that stated "I have No Penis!!!' I have dealt with every addiction in the world and fetish for that matter, so it is impossible to shock me or even make me not understand. Ya see on my journey I have learned to never judge or condemn, but accept and love!
Lets Start from the begininng
My name is Carla Holland Strange, I was born in Brownwood Texas in 1961 to a 16 yo child. She chose to keep me verses give me up ..... thinking that would have been the Good Mother thing to do! Well people rethink things like this! She was too young and too poor to raise me, then get pregnant 2 more times after that! So where did I fit into the equation? Don't get me wrong I love my Mom and I thank God everyday for her.... BUT she has made me pay every single day of my life for screwing up hers.
I am not bitter even though it tries to creep in on me all the time, I am still at 48 that little girl that never felt truely loved and cherished...... so many people out there have so much love to give so never feel bad about adoption
I am not bitter even though it tries to creep in on me all the time, I am still at 48 that little girl that never felt truely loved and cherished...... so many people out there have so much love to give so never feel bad about adoption
Letter I wrote to my Mom
This is the Second time that I have been arrested after 2 people started coming down from their drugs of choice.... both times 2 people on one and I am the one that went to jail! I am also the one that was not doing a drug or drunk. Now I am not an Angel I did beat the shit out of a friend one night because she called me "Robert's Whore" But these two incidences no I did not inflict enough pain to be on the run.
By the way when you hit someone there are bruises on your hands and swelling..... you BOTH saw what you wanted to see. It is call mass hysteria. You can blame me all you want, but I wasn't coming down from Vicodin. and just because someone says something does not mean you have to verbally push them in a corner.... i called Kaye evil, Does that give her the right to POKE me into a corner calling me a Cunt 5 times? When I hit someone it leaves marks that fade, when you verbally abuse someone it leaves marks forever...... and you BOTH have been the queens of verbal abuse to me. Those children are doomed to grown up thinking it is ok to abuse childrens lungs, and bash people verbally, or make fun of their looks..... everytime you call someone a name look in the mirror!
Knowing that my OWN family is trying to control me with fear, is kinda laughable..... stress me out and watch my BP kill me.... then you don't have to take accountability of the harms that you inflict. Well what you do to people is no different from what that girl did to that baby except that baby only had to endure it for 3 weeks, mine has been 48 years of emotional dismemberment
You see I have beaten someone in a rage, you remember EVERY single Second of it and your hands hurt for days! AND I was drinking! I was Sober with Kaye and not a Mark! that soon after an assault there would not be a bruise, but a swelling and red marks. Bruises age with colors they don't begin with colors! Thank God that the ONE person that I really did attack was more family to me than you 2. I love you Bonnie!
I love you too! Just get off the drugs (vicodin) all it is doing is masking the real pain .... the pain of hating the world you created for yourselves... lonliness and bitterness!
As for the cops and Falls County I told some home truths that have gotten me in trouble....... They misuse Charity Funds to benefit them versus the county, the judge sits and gossips in front of inmates, with chest pains no one came to even check on me. they refused to let me have my BP meds till AFTER I was released knowing that I was hurting in the CAR! It is all in the paperwork that I donated to the charity. Because I am tired of being scared of what is going to happen to me. Great way to keep my mouth shut is by dismissing a case and holding it over my head! By the way has anyone not heard of Miranda Rights anymore? or Double Jepardy? Falsifying Paperwork? Leaving MY property out on the Desk from 930 pm to 500 am? Denying my rights to Medical Attention?
I am NOT Hiding anymore from ANY Thing I will fight to the End for what I know is true.......... Print this and Give it to Officer Hamilton, and the Mayor!
Non-Profits run thru Texas Star Bank... that aren't really
Credit Cards that disappear in the Lott Post Office
Food Charities given out to the well off versus the poor
Disaster funds that Common People don't know about that sit unclaimed that the county gets to sit on!
You see EVERYONE has gotten so Jaded that they just keep allowing shit like this, because they don't have indignation anymore in what is wrong!
I am giving this to the cop I trust too! After being a cop for so many years he would not have made the mistakes he did on that report, he did it to save me!
By the way when you hit someone there are bruises on your hands and swelling..... you BOTH saw what you wanted to see. It is call mass hysteria. You can blame me all you want, but I wasn't coming down from Vicodin. and just because someone says something does not mean you have to verbally push them in a corner.... i called Kaye evil, Does that give her the right to POKE me into a corner calling me a Cunt 5 times? When I hit someone it leaves marks that fade, when you verbally abuse someone it leaves marks forever...... and you BOTH have been the queens of verbal abuse to me. Those children are doomed to grown up thinking it is ok to abuse childrens lungs, and bash people verbally, or make fun of their looks..... everytime you call someone a name look in the mirror!
Knowing that my OWN family is trying to control me with fear, is kinda laughable..... stress me out and watch my BP kill me.... then you don't have to take accountability of the harms that you inflict. Well what you do to people is no different from what that girl did to that baby except that baby only had to endure it for 3 weeks, mine has been 48 years of emotional dismemberment
You see I have beaten someone in a rage, you remember EVERY single Second of it and your hands hurt for days! AND I was drinking! I was Sober with Kaye and not a Mark! that soon after an assault there would not be a bruise, but a swelling and red marks. Bruises age with colors they don't begin with colors! Thank God that the ONE person that I really did attack was more family to me than you 2. I love you Bonnie!
I love you too! Just get off the drugs (vicodin) all it is doing is masking the real pain .... the pain of hating the world you created for yourselves... lonliness and bitterness!
As for the cops and Falls County I told some home truths that have gotten me in trouble....... They misuse Charity Funds to benefit them versus the county, the judge sits and gossips in front of inmates, with chest pains no one came to even check on me. they refused to let me have my BP meds till AFTER I was released knowing that I was hurting in the CAR! It is all in the paperwork that I donated to the charity. Because I am tired of being scared of what is going to happen to me. Great way to keep my mouth shut is by dismissing a case and holding it over my head! By the way has anyone not heard of Miranda Rights anymore? or Double Jepardy? Falsifying Paperwork? Leaving MY property out on the Desk from 930 pm to 500 am? Denying my rights to Medical Attention?
I am NOT Hiding anymore from ANY Thing I will fight to the End for what I know is true.......... Print this and Give it to Officer Hamilton, and the Mayor!
Non-Profits run thru Texas Star Bank... that aren't really
Credit Cards that disappear in the Lott Post Office
Food Charities given out to the well off versus the poor
Disaster funds that Common People don't know about that sit unclaimed that the county gets to sit on!
You see EVERYONE has gotten so Jaded that they just keep allowing shit like this, because they don't have indignation anymore in what is wrong!
I am giving this to the cop I trust too! After being a cop for so many years he would not have made the mistakes he did on that report, he did it to save me!
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