Well here comes my problem, They are going after 10-20 years on Rick if he does not take the probation that is being offered to him.... He is scared that he won't be able to conform to the probation without screwing up.... I am going to ask that he be given that medication that makes you sick if you drink anything (court ordered) but I can't afford all of this. We will have probation fees, medications ,,,,, I don't know what to do. His Demons are alcohol...... his is an amazing person without it. I mean if he had cancer I would not leave him... Alcoholism is a disease too.
I catch so much hell because I keep taking him back... but I know the idiot will give his shirt to help someone and that is what I preach. He does not deserve 10-20 years because he won't let go of the damaged child that he struggles with.
I mean none of are perfect.... we evolve to perfection. I know he is a long way from perfect........ but I saw him do so much for others and that gives him redemption. I am all that he has and I will never betray him.
If I can just get the Foundation started we can get grants and more for the community..... Rick wants to teach the kids music and I want to teach them healing, animals, swimming, and spirituality. Marque will teach gymnastics, tennis, dance and theatre. I joined the Brave Heart Women and the empowerment of strong women will get me thru the hard times.
Now for the most important thing I have to do today.... I am NOT married to Richard John Digiacomo......... he thinks that since this is a common law state that it is sealed in stone and it isn't. I will not risk any of my grants or contributions getting into Rick's hands. Soon as I get the money to finish the non-profit the Directors will all be Empowered Women with no addictions.
Many Blessings
Carla
Friday, April 29, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
A letter to my son and husband
Dear Rick and Jeremy
I am writing this letter to Both of you because you both suffer from the same issues.... and until you acknowledge this you will live in jails and streets......... with no one that loves you after they get to know you. You see the reason that you lay hands on women is because you hate them. Even though the person that loves you most in your life is a woman.
Jeremy I am guilty of letting you slide so much and feeling that I must have failed you as a mother because you are failing in the real world. But truth be known your a grown man and it is your job to put your big boy pants on and be a father. But you latch onto lonely older women and use them. Is that a sick way of getting back at me for my raising of you? GrowUp and be a father to all of these kids you made and show them what a good man is. I will NOT send another dime... so make amends with God so he will see that your worthy.
Rick you can look at every female as the cause of your problems.... but fact be told........ YOU are your own DEMON. You hate being happy. Because you don't feel worthy as a man.... and to be honest your not worthy. You have an amazing gift of healing that you can give the world but cigs are so much more important to you. Your call today has gotten me to thinking, you will never care that you have hammered my face, busted my lip, strangled me with a lamp cord......... you don't love me and probably like Jeremy you never will. You never deserved a woman that has loved you for over 2 years unconditionally.... a woman that you have never put first in your life. You would not even let me tell you what was going on in my life today, you were too busy wallowing about your injustices. If I stayed with you, one day you would kill me.... that is why I demanded you get probation...... but as you said you could never pass probation standards. I do love you, but I am not a punching bag.
Everyday I work on making the world a better place, and making a difference...... but you distract me. I would rather let you both go out of my life rather than be used by 2 men that could care less about me.
Jeremy I gave you life and I love you with all my heart, but if you don't change now you will be like Rick, a man that will never be a father to his children..... and Rick if you don't change you will be that dirty homeless guy that dies in the gutter from a rotted liver and no one to bury you.
I love you both
Your Mother, and Your Wife
PS .... since you both are fathers of female children, how are going to feel when some lowlife user beats your baby girl? Not too great..... Men should stand tall and be men, Jeremy, Zane wants to talk to his Daddy is that gonna be 10-20 years? Both of you grow up please
Carla
I am writing this letter to Both of you because you both suffer from the same issues.... and until you acknowledge this you will live in jails and streets......... with no one that loves you after they get to know you. You see the reason that you lay hands on women is because you hate them. Even though the person that loves you most in your life is a woman.
Jeremy I am guilty of letting you slide so much and feeling that I must have failed you as a mother because you are failing in the real world. But truth be known your a grown man and it is your job to put your big boy pants on and be a father. But you latch onto lonely older women and use them. Is that a sick way of getting back at me for my raising of you? GrowUp and be a father to all of these kids you made and show them what a good man is. I will NOT send another dime... so make amends with God so he will see that your worthy.
Rick you can look at every female as the cause of your problems.... but fact be told........ YOU are your own DEMON. You hate being happy. Because you don't feel worthy as a man.... and to be honest your not worthy. You have an amazing gift of healing that you can give the world but cigs are so much more important to you. Your call today has gotten me to thinking, you will never care that you have hammered my face, busted my lip, strangled me with a lamp cord......... you don't love me and probably like Jeremy you never will. You never deserved a woman that has loved you for over 2 years unconditionally.... a woman that you have never put first in your life. You would not even let me tell you what was going on in my life today, you were too busy wallowing about your injustices. If I stayed with you, one day you would kill me.... that is why I demanded you get probation...... but as you said you could never pass probation standards. I do love you, but I am not a punching bag.
Everyday I work on making the world a better place, and making a difference...... but you distract me. I would rather let you both go out of my life rather than be used by 2 men that could care less about me.
Jeremy I gave you life and I love you with all my heart, but if you don't change now you will be like Rick, a man that will never be a father to his children..... and Rick if you don't change you will be that dirty homeless guy that dies in the gutter from a rotted liver and no one to bury you.
I love you both
Your Mother, and Your Wife
PS .... since you both are fathers of female children, how are going to feel when some lowlife user beats your baby girl? Not too great..... Men should stand tall and be men, Jeremy, Zane wants to talk to his Daddy is that gonna be 10-20 years? Both of you grow up please
Carla
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